Category Archives: Writing

Authentic Being

20170305_085654

Mount Shasta in early Spring

Authenticity is more and more at the core of what is thirsted for – in every aspect of this One and all it encounters. As the human collective stumbles through more gateways of activation – astrologically, deep cleansing in Gaia and political tensions –  the dances of the Cosmos are never far from awareness. Yet, as we open to the limitlessness of our true nature as timeless and multi dimensional Beings, our purpose right now, in human form is to bring All into embodiment, in this Now.

When heart and mind blast open through the veils of illusion and we awaken to Truth, there are infinite paths which can call to our passion. There can be a tremendous long-overlooked thirst revealed which demands to be met, yet holds many false avenues for a soul that may be still immature and ungrounded in the Being. The person(a) can still so easily take charge, simply clothed in apparently more appealing garments. For many of us there may be a period of months or many years where our lust for all things “spiritual” may become all consuming. This can simply shape to be another escape from reality itself; from the bliss and agony of tasting, of knowing, Truth. Further, it is so very easy to be pulled into an idea of being more evolved/spiritual/awake than family/friends/neighbour/ the bus driver and this is one of the sticky and subtle ways ego simply morphs. To the extent that we identify with ANY role and give that any value, we are invested in egoic self.

Whether we create circumstances of misery and tragedy or of abundance, we are continually emanating in tandem with the formless That which evolves All. There is omnipresent wordless communion. Nothing is unseen. Not our darkest thoughts, most shamed places. Nor our kindest actions. We exist in the holograph of the multiverse, continually vibrating between formless and form. Life is watching, breathing, stretching and simultaneously just IS.

One of the ironies of Life as a human is that we believe what we believe, in that moment! Whatever our state of consciousness, that is our “reality”. Until we know different. And it is those very thoughtforms that create what we experience before us. Each story that we crack through drops us in greater unknowingness. And the more whole-souled our surrender to the Infinite the greater the dissolution of what we have recognised as “life”. Everything that is not reality must die, again and again.

We must move through many layers of purification and initiation in order to strip away the personal, the distorted and the false emotion to even begin to taste Truth. And yet, and yet…it was always Here. It is always available. It never left. We just placed awareness elsewhere.

As we taste the Truth of Being, indescribable, inexpressible consciousness, ANYTHING that puts language or form to that is immediately a limitation. No matter how poetic or magnificent. It still has mind and therefore concept. Rather than Is. The deepest passion running through all great artistic endeavour could be said to be this call to express the inexpressible through creative energy.

“Whatever you have understood you are not. Spit it all out. Whatever you understand is not the truth. Throw it overboard. Do not try to catch hold of any concepts and cling to them. Don’t employ any words, but look at yourself as you are. Throw away every thought, every experience, everything that happens after the consciousness, the beingness comes…

Before the beingness was there, look at that, be in that state. Do not get lost in words and thoughts and ideas. Do not crave for mind knowledge and concepts in the name of spirituality. Anything that is seen and interpreted by the mind is only an appearance in consciousness, and, therefore, cannot be true. “ Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj.

20170329_175018 (1)

Love is everywhere

Our truest compass lies in the silence, with the awakening Divine heart. This is not the emotional heart but the Sacred Heart , the Christed centre of Love that resides in every Being. And this Heart calls forth and guides both the purification of mind and the essential opening and landing in the belly. Spiritual evolution is not about becoming more complex but actually about profound simplifying.  As the beating heart, we expand into the Infinite that IS, then breathe All That Is into and through this form, through Presence, creating, word and deed.

Each pathway of remembering and unforming-in-form is unique, with both jewels and pitfalls. No other can judge or appreciate how the unrepeatable expression of essence in form that is each One is called to wholeness and to the evolution of All. Is the butterfly that takes longer to hatch from the chrysalis any more or less than its fellow butterflies? Any more or less deserving of existing as a perfect expression of the Divine than a human, a waterfall, a star?

My heart and soul show me that the REAL core of coming to this particular planet lies in embodying on earth; not to transcend, but to awaken and bring every molecule of awakened Presence into body and action. The prevalent models of spirituality have long been patriarchal and the predominant model is one of transcendence, where we are called UP and OUT of our bodies and this earth realm. As the Divine Feminine returns to a freshly evolved balance, we can awaken to limitless Being AND be fully feeling, grounded and bloodied intuitive and sensory Beings with an umbilical cord to the pulse of Gaia and the Cosmos and our third eye firmly pressed to the Creator.

We practice not flinching to the agony but melting into it. No different than dissolving into the bliss. All of it is in our cells, our DNA, our non physical essence. We did not incarnate to BE anything, nor to become. We Are This. And That is part of the great Cosmic joke. We have nothing to prove, nor earn. Nothing to redeem. Nothing is real. And everything Is. Let us turn our nakedness to the skies and lay it upon the moist earth. All Is.

Helen serves consciousness however it calls. This may take the form of gatherings or retreats globally often at powerful Sacred locations; one to one sessions; groups and teaching; light transmissions; writing and being a mother and human on the planet. Please explore her site where you book a session and can sign up for very occasional mailings. You are also very welcome to connect on facebook.

 

 

Advertisements

Heart flow

surrender-in-flow

As I rest in heart-crushing sadness, it is the ancient sadness of witnessing – of FEELING – a fellow soul choose fear instead of love; limitation instead of infinity; illusion instead of truth. My heart truly breaks to feel the asleepness, the loss. It is akin to being behind a glass window trying to communicate to a prisoner. So very much that cannot be heard, understood or communicated.

I accept this Being as a form before me, no different to “I”, mirroring aspects of Source incarnate. I get it. So the sadness over “him” is sadness over all the places and lifetimes where my “I” chose to stay hidden in the false safety of the ego. Every where I can still do so. There is a particular poignancy as this is someone I have loved deeply, over many years. But if true love is about anything it is about letting be. Letting the Beloved be exactly who they are. No matter if our soul cries at what is possible but remains unopened. There is great beauty in the tenderness of acceptance.

And through it all I whisper internally, “I love you” ” I love you”. At the foundation of everything is always the Love. The knowing and remembrance that THIS is who we are, dancing in these masks and these body suits for moments, we are infinite and already perfect. Already born.

Still I cry for all Beings. That we may wake to the knowing of our true nature. To our absolute magnificence as creations of Love and as Divine Masters, adopting the mantle of the ever so human experience for a few breaths in time.

I cry for us all.

So that in the depths of this ocean I will gasp for the air of Truth ever more passionately. Ever more compassionately. And we will swim hand in hand to the vast open-ness of the surface.

One of the richest invitations of waking up while on this planet is learning how to be with those who walk in different worlds. How to be a bridge of love and light; to keep doors open whilst remaining deeply authentic to our truth and to live in full integrity. No “one” is better, worse or even separate – just expressions of different places in the Cosmic journey of evolution. It is a delicate and challenging skill and can come with a lot of heartache as we may have to walk away from many loved ones who choose the world they believe to be true.

This is just one level of the sadness. A sadness so soft and deep it fills the atmosphere and calls to my cells. This past week many of us have felt the strength of what is being released and transmuted in collective consciousness, supplemented by the force and effects of solar activity. Many of us have felt knocked out as our nervous systems adjust to the alchemy.

In my own being I am finding the next level of service in how my body and energy can transmute denser vibrations more organically – as innately as the flow of breath. And part of the expansiveness of that is refining the skill of staying unengaged in any story. I could choose any of a number to attach to; to ascribe either sadness or joy to. But that is not truth.

Essence just IS. Love just IS. Pain just IS.

So this deep sense of heart crushing sadness feels simultaneously like the contraction required to stimulate a greater burst into life, with renewed strength and power as the heart rebounds with more vitality, more capacity for all this Life IS. More blood can flow. More aliveness. And more rawness.

And I bow in gratitude – to the One before me whose personality chooses to stay in contracted ego, for He is the Divine and I love the essence before me; to my soul tribe who so courageously open to Love no matter what; who reach out and hold my hand and my heart in any moment: to my body for its tremendous capacity and courage to serve Life; to the Great Mystery, which is throwing up so much turmoil on our beloved planet right now so we can writhe and shake and stretch and grow into higher realities.

 

Helen serves the evolution of consciousness and anchoring of the Divine Feminine through many forms – one to one sessions globally; light transmissions; gatherings and events worldwide and humbly through writings and Presence. Please see more on her site , where you can sign up for very occasional mailings and do connect on facebook.

Cosmic Warriors of Light

cosmic-lovers

We walk together through the spaces between stars,

feet landing on fresh green shoots of grass and on scorched earth both.

Our hearts’ echoes are the drumbeat that we march to, calling us into formation,

laser sharp through the black space.

 

There is a vibration we know as intimately as an out breath

and in sensing it or hearing it in another form, our inner flame ignites.

robby-donaghey-becoming-love

Art : Robby Donaghey ~ Becoming Love

Together we burn brighter and more fiercely, devouring all that is not true

and cleansing tracts of land far and great.

 

Warriors of Light, I sing to you, come forward.

It matters not if you are

limping,

weary,

confused.

It matters not that there is no map or pathway clear.

 

It matters only that you hear,

and, in the hearing, step,

placing body and being in service

to the Greatest Calling of All.

 

Emptied as the clear flute, through which Spirit may play,

the melody grows and dances through the skies,

whispering at more ears,

more hearts,

more souls.

“Come home.”

“Remember we are One.”

 

Whether head bowed over newborn babe,

ploughing fields,

constructing bricks and mortar

or walking barefoot on pilgrimage,

let the music dancing at your heart’s door enter and consume you.

 

We are called.

We are called.

Let us dance to the Divine melody of our Call.

 

For Alan.

 

Helen is in service to the evolution of consciousness and the anchoring of Divine frequencies. This occurs through direct personal healing sessions and consultations; gatherings, groups and retreats globally, light transmissions and writings. Please do connect on facebook or through her site where you can also sign up for very occasional mailings.

 

Loving and Fear

star-eyes

“What do I fear most in this life?” I ask my subconscious. The answer comes – it is the lie.

The lie that lays behind the half-truth, the closed eyes. The lie that closes doors rather than opening them.

What I fear most in this life is the lie that causes decay and rot. A fermenting of unspoken words. A half-light of awareness.

What I fear most is the dark that comes from this lie. I do not fear the pure dark; the blackness of night nor the void space that births stars. Rather I fear our turning away from it – light or dark. The veil we place over our eyes and ears when we turn from truth. The truth that is found in both the dark and the light as two expressions of the One.

I used to tremble at the weak spots in my psyche that whine for safety and sameness. I see now that I claim them, more and more with each day. And in my claiming I am loving them. Perhaps more true is that I may be afraid of my UNseeing of them. That is what gives me true discomfort. And yet I know that, the deeper and more unconditionally I love all places in self or “other”, all that has been hidden and shamed will gently reveal in Divine readiness. In truth I do not fear the asleep consciousness in us all. It is an essential foundation for our functioning.

What I fear most is the vastness of my light, the magnitude of Being. The astounding, incomprehensible power of Divine essence that can bring only the death of all that is false. But who is this “I” who feels the discomfort? It is but the small self. The social self, who clings to fragments of life rafts of identity.

There is a place that can show in my soul that worries that I will not have the courage when all is stripped away to stand bare, weeping, wounded and free from every label, every strip of identification. To stand in my infinite stature as the magnficent Being and ambassador of light that I am. And, as I remember, again and again, not to believe the story of the fear, I caress those places – whether in psyche or soul – with the softest balm of love, letting them be exactly as they are.

Will I hold this head clear, easy and strong? Or crumble to the earth in shame? Will I hold humility in my cells equally to the sovereignty and realization?

The “I” that is, was and always shall be knows no fear. For “I” am love. Of love. Inseparable, vast and impenetrable.

Fear is also the birthing of Universes from the belly of Source and Her curiosity to see life expand and evolve through the contrast of duality. It is the necessary mirror to the brilliance of Divine love. There can only be fear prevailing where we turn away from our own darkness. As lovingness fills our very DNA, deeper and deeper, the ocean holds and bathes every expression and shade of our Beingness. The deeper we are called, the free-er we can rise.

There is only fear where Love is not. Love can go to any place – if it is invited. Like the angels! But first there must be a call – spoken or unspoken. A deep – soul–deep – invitation that no matter what, above all, is love. A willingness to meet the fire and the heart-shattering tenderness both. To receive it into our deepest recesses, squirming at the alchemy with our pains. And to offer our human forms as vehicles and containers for infinite love.

blue-blast

What is it I fear most in this life, for nothing can kill me, I am eternal? Life is eternal. I am born and never die. Only forms change. And through each form, a myriad and multitude of galaxies of experience; of touches and tears; agony and joys.

When I return home to love there is no fear. As I breathe it in, Universal, unending and as vast as I can conceive and taste, fear is cradled and comforted as a newborn baby. All softens in unlimited tenderness. The hard edges of anxiety or terror are met with the waves of the ocean which washes them clean. Fear and love take hands and dance, laughing at the pure joy of innocence and the Divine design. It is the ocean of limitless love that carries the wave of panic. Softens it, meeting it until it dissolves in a billion bubbles, indistinguishable from any droplet in the sea.

And so our prayers for the waters are also our embracing of fears. The most ancient, primal and rudimentary of fears. I CAN survive. I CAN Live – and walk upon this blue green planet in strength and peace and harmony with my brothers and sisters.

I see you fear. I look on you with unflinching loving. I see the shadows that lurk in you. The unspoken ones. The buried ones. And I vow not to deny you nor turn in shame. You are the messenger of the Divine calling me closer, deeper.

In understanding your true essence and staying present with your gifts, I am born. And yet not born, for I always was. Always existing. Ever present as Love and Truth.

 

Helen Quail serves love through any many vehicles – direct consultations and healing sessions, in person or via Skype; gatherings, events and retreats globally; light transmissions and writing. You are so welcome to connect and find out more about her offerings via facebook or her site, where you can also sign up for very occasional mailings.

 

1111 Awakening through Life

holding-world

As I returned to my writing screen, it was 11.11 – a significant portal for the awakening frequencies of the Divine to be received and integrated by humanity. The 111 codes ask us to be utterly conscious of our dreams, our thoughts and our words and to ensure that our movements in the physical realms, whether word or action come from our highest expression and awareness of consciousness.

I always feel 111 and 11.11 related to new beginnings. For of course consciousness is the Creator, the beginning, the manifester. And simultaneously completely outwith any concept of time. The reality which is present in every breath is heightened – that we are given the chance to begin afresh. This, not in terms of denying exactly where we are and all the circumstances we have created to be at this precise point, but rather arising FROM every thought and action that has gone before. As every nutrient and day of gestation creates an entirely new Being in human form on the planet when a baby is born, so all our choices and seeming failures to act in the highest alignment create the perfect, optimum conditions for this deep birthing.

It is also now eight days since my mother passed from her human body.

And six since America voted for Donald Trump to be its president.

None of it unrelated.

One of the gifts of these last days at my mother’s bedside is the knowing which may previously have drifted into being more intellectual, that EVERYTHING in my experience, in my world, is interconnected. This has dropped right down into my belly. Into absolute knowing.

My mother’s transition and the profound experiences that took place towards it; the water protectors and protests at Standing Rock; uncomfortable tensions with my siblings; my deep soul love and alchemy with my partner; my children expressing challenging responses and behaviours; my ex husband not showing up fully as a father; a dear soul sister leaving the country; the political coup in Turkey and the American elections.

All of it.

Let me breathe this circle.  Sit with me here. In the centre. When we return to this still point, we feel our column of light anchoring both into Gaia’s heart and that of Source. We reclaim our infinite strength as Divine beings playing in this human movie for a few moments. From here, we can watch the dance of all that is playing out in these movies on the world stage and on the more “personal” stage of our private lives.

A tricky and essential distinction to navigate is that of witnessing and knowing this is all illusion yet not falling into spiritual bypassing. This is sold seductively in new age thinking and often can creep into us without our noticing. At the other end of the loop is getting caught in the drama of the collective and letting ourselves believe any of it is actually real. How to acknowledge and honour pain in any Being without losing sight and knowing of what is real? Can we remember that everything is created by Divine intelligence for the evolution of consciousness?

We – as embodiments of Divine Source are here as co-creators, with free will and living in form surrounded by the density of soul amnesia. This earth school journey is one to bring Divinity into form. To live it in our human-ness – our ability to FEEL intensely; to cry and dance and laugh and make love. What a magical, majestic and joyful play we are in!

Dancing this balance is an art form that requires practice till the moment our essence leaves this plane. We can never be complacent, for the cumulative weight of conditioning rains into our bones and cells each and every day. We never become immune to that but hopefully, with dedicated intention and practices, we learn to soften it, to understand it and – crucially – not to identify with it. Perhaps we may even learn to love the healthy ego structures that allow us to function as human and in community. And anything that shows up on our personal or global horizon as manifestations of that which wishes to be acknowledged and loved into harmony.

We are all in uncharted waters in these new lands. Four years on from the 2012 gateway, we have another especially heightened window through to 1.1.17 to receive and embody higher Divine frequencies. None of this can be done when our inner work and our shadow work is not addressed at ALL levels. All are equally essential. So in the face of political instability and extremes; natural “disasters” and personal experiences of loved ones choosing to leave earth or relationships dissolving, we do our work. We walk our talk.

We let go of the temptations to judge, to feel ever so subtly “right”, vindicated or superior. We accept that every being on this planet is an equal expression of the magnificence of the Divine. That is why we are required to practice our mastery through every moment of our day (and night). Use the tools that best nourish you – particular meditations; body practices; time in nature and KNOW that you are part of a soul tribe, whether you know them directly or not. We have our families of light – many on earth, many more on other stars and galaxies. Remember to sing to each other the song of our hearts. To radiate the light of our souls, thus lighting the way for all of us who find it hard to see through the shadows at times.

Let light shine upon every heart awakening us to our true nature.

And so it is.

Helen is in service to consciousness and has a particular role with the frequencies of the Cosmic Divine Feminine. Offerings come through direct consultations and personal sessions (in person or Skype globally); gatherings, events and retreats worldwide; light transmissions and writing. Please connect through facebook or her website, where you can also signup for very occasional mailings to stay informed.

Shadow Sisters

tidesI am wading through some deeply uncomfortable murky waters in my belly. They feel as ancient as the seas of Gaia herself. Waters that have been filled with the tears of generations of mothers, sisters, lovers, daughters.

My head wants to jump in an attempt to fence in these waters; barricade against the storms –  but they are bottomless and unknown. They contain the unseen wounds and the unheard screams. They contain the bleeding of millions of wombs and tears of many more eyes.

I can only lay face down in Her and add my tears and my exhale. I am you.

Let us not lay our wounds before each others feet in a desperate attempt to prove ours are greater; to compensate for all the lifetimes where they have not been held and honoured. Nor let us deny that which moves through every one of us.

birth

My human self may writhe and contract but the ocean in my belly just is.

The Immortal Magdalene is here to bring our full glorious sexuality into the core of our Beings and forms. Every place where this has been denied, suppressed or blatantly and viciously abused will float to the surface.

I feel the pains. I feel the beauty even in the agony. And I feel the infinite love that created all of it. In the deep sadness there is a tenderness of sisterhood that is exquisite and a perfection in the design that we may never touch.

We are one in our journey with this.

And as our beloved men come towards us ever more courageously, in our alchemy we birth anew the waters of life from our wombspace.

May these rich waters fertilize our compassion and forgiveness, growing forth first and foremost for our own cells, our own DNA. As I heal my own pain of abuse – in this lifetime and many, I heal that of my sister who feels unheard; I heal the silent screams of the young African girl being held down and raped; the Indian grandmother being viciously beaten; of the broken hearts of fathers and brothers and sons and lovers lost in the dark delusion of misusing sexual power.

May we all swim in these waters as light and darkness dance and realign, finding our way to Source in its eternal evolving.

May we love as fully as we are and can. May it be so.

 

Helen serves consciousness and the expansion and anchoring of Divine Feminine frequencies through various forms – individual consultations and healing sessions; facilitating groups globally; retreats and virtual transmissions. Please connect through facebook or her site where you can sign up for occasional mailings.

 

 

Mother of Mine

fb_img_1458075973623

Mother of Mine

Mother of all

You’ve tended us so carefully

So we don’t fall.

Caught us and loved us

and held us so tight

When the fears and the darkness loom in the night.

 

Mother of mine

both human and Divine,

always so humble, giving and kind,

You gave so many years to us all.

So many hours,

so many tears

were wiped away by the hand that knows only Love.

 

Mother of mine,

I am so grateful you are here

and even in death you chose well and clear.

So we have these moments, these hours, these days

to thank you and love you for teaching your ways.

 

Ways based on faith in the guiding Love of the Divine

on serving and giving with no thought of self.

Your strength, majestic as a mountain,

your grace like a billowing leaf

you inspire each of us

to reach for the Truth

 

Mother of Mine,

Beloved Divine

in your human-ness you are loved and cared for

till your last breath becomes one

with the great Cosmic breath.

A pulse that never ends

and will reverberate through my blood for ever.

 

Mother of Mine.

divine-mother

 

Dedicated to my mother, Mary on her 77th birthday today.

 

Helen serves consciousness as called. The forms include energy healing, Presence, transmissions, gatherings and writings. She is honoured to connect through facebook or her site, where you can also sign up for very occasional mailings on her schedule and offerings.