Tag Archives: awakening

Birth day eve reflections

When I feel back into moments of this life
– as a sensitive, quiet five year old;
a rebellious fifteen year old;
as a single mother at eighteen;
severely ill at thirty;
and so many more….,
deeper places of tender compassion arise for the beauty of a Cosmic soul feeling lost in this world and what it appeared to be.

There was always an inner vibrating that knew, that knew, somewhere. A light that could not extinguish. But for many years it was not possible to even begin the infinite reconciliation of what it is to be a limitless Being of the Cosmos inhabiting bones, blood and skin.


Even as the journey of wholeness and  awakening moved along it was many years before the descent could begin. For the ground to be here. 


And in this, we are brought to everything. There is no where to go. Every place in our own system and psyche and to all the peaks and pools of human consciousness.


For so many of us, it has been so much easier to stay in other realms. With lifetimes of wisdom, and capacities that are vastly outwith what exists on this planet at this time it can seem incomprehensible that what we are can fully come in here. And thrive.
And some can’t.


Yet, for those who stay, we said yes.
We said yes Beloveds. So we come all the way. We are in this Mastery school , this gorgeous playground to come fully into this play as consciousness, as Divine Love, as Source.


We teach what we need to learn and so this core of embodiment has come more and more into the center of my work, and my joy to serve.  As I guide and support Beings to come home in our multi dimensionality, right here , I come more and more home to my own soul song.


We are embodied light, meeting every wave, every movement, every tear, every breath.
So as I enter the celebration of this life, of being born, I honor each of us in the dance that has no end, nor no endpoint. We weave, expand, forget, remember, grow, love and live. As notes in one Cosmic song that echoes throughout eternity.


I love you.


Thank you from my heart for being here.
đź’—

Helen assists in our embodiment as multi dimensional beings through sessions, energy healing, embodied light events and retreats. She currently lives in Mount Shasta, Northern California. Connect on her site or facebook.

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A world of Love

every day is a day of love

This is a day when the vast majority of humans on this planet are, if but momentarily, thinking about love, primarily through the filter of romantic and intimate relationship. Some will revel in the affection with a partner; others lament our apparent aloneness. Let us compassionately but firmly blow through the seduction of what we have been sold in various packages, as a species. The Love and meeting we seek can truly only be located in our love affair with the Mystery, the Divine, the unnameable. The encounters we have as humans can open us further; heal and expand our shaking hearts. They can of course also close them down for a time, when the precious tenderness of our light and love is violated.

Many of us may be content with the comfort of loving companionship, friendship and trust sculpted over time and shared life experience and how precious this is. Some may stay in unhappy pairings not seeing any other choices or feel lonely in our singledom. And some – not so many – but a growing and very significant group, are dedicated above all to the inner union. That is the deep experiential knowledge of the Divine through our own self. Evolutionary conscious relationship may be a significant vehicle for the growing of this inner marriage but, crucially, it will be in service to that. The knowing and union of Divine and form within cannot ever be for a self, an individual “alone”. For that is an individual that is based on a misunderstanding. Union – yoga – occurs through a one; through a differentiated form and expression of consciousness, thus flowing back into and evolving the origin. Relating consciously is an immensely potent catalyst.

We often fall “in love” with what we see, imagine or project onto another; the qualities we most desire or wish in ourselves. The cauldron of Love will inevitably bubble up the hidden pains, the shame, the abandoned places; all that longs to return to the embrace of wholeness. So if we are not here for this, for our own self, what we took to be love may turn even to hate, to resentment, hurt, disappointment. If what arises cannot be met, then the rejection of these places is placed onto another form.

Many of us are understandably caught in the pursuit of fulfilling our own personal desires. Few are courageous enough or awake enough to dedicate every form of relating to That which is. Nor is it the path for many.

An unending, unshakeable meeting is found fully only in awareness itself, in Divine Love. It can pour through forms of realized beings yet is not of, or belonging to, any one. Love is without end and as we taste this it is dizzying and terrifying to the small one who thought our human play was real.

Love shapes each one of us in our wide-eyed, crazy-making, colorful brilliance. It flows through our veins. It saturates the air we breathe. It is discovered and uncovered through every relating, whether with lover, friend, rock or tree. But the depth of the agonies and limitless realities that are illuminated through conscious intimate relationship are perhaps the richest pathway to an honest meeting of our self; a dying to our attachment to who we take ourselves to be and a falling into the One that never leaves, never turns away; that is love , everywhere. The One that is right here. Calling you.

Helen offers private sessions in Mount Shasta or through skype. Book here. Groups and events and other offerings can be accessed through subscribing on her siteand please feel welcome to connect through facebook.

The innocence of gratitude

Mist over the Pacific Ocean, Northern California

I am welcoming the undercurrent of gratitude that has been a theme of recent weeks and, approaching my family’s first Thanksgiving celebration in USA, it feels especially timely to share some gentle reflections on this theme. California is moving through a very turbulent episode with wildfires devastating hundreds of thousands of acres, claiming land, lives and homes alike.  The US political system is more evidently in need of foundational overall than ever.

So it is exactly here,  and now where we can choose gratitude. Not for a second as a numbing or bypassing of feelings of grief, rage, loss or whatever may be moving through our system. All are welcome in ample spaciousness. Not at some future point when the world looks more in harmony; when our lives meet our expectations. But to excavate and feed gratitude as the ocean that lies beneath everything. It is our deeper and consistent “Yes!” to Spirit, to Truth, to the lessons that wake us from the sleepwalk and call us to LIVE in nothing less than full integrity.

Gratitude is a quality of the flow and alignment that is always present beneath the cementing of conditioning. Our true nature is one of Love, profound contentment, at-one-ment and appreciation. Not “because” of any “thing”. Love is not conditional. Our true nature is not conditional. Appreciation just is.

Western contemporary society is rigorously structured to defend and remove us from this state. Gratitude – if we feel it – in our over stimulated, materialistic driven modern world, is inexorably entwined with things or achievements. With the illusion of doing and the one who is doing.

But we ARE. And Here there are only rivers and rivers of rightness and appreciation for the perfection of everything – whatever form that may take in manifestation.

There can though be no sidestepping, no shortcuts for what is arising. Let us witness the ebbs and flows of feelings and thoughts  – without thinking this is who we ARE. And given space we can return to deep and permeating peace, contentment and wonder at the brilliance and intelligence of the Mystery.

So practice is required. Just as many of us find a nourishing foundation in meditation practice and our sadhana, practising gratitude on a consistent basis in our day and our life is another pointer home.

Gratitude is the gatekeeper from judgement or criticism of another being or of circumstance walking us into alignment with the holy wisdom of Life itself.

In noticing that sadness and grief float gently around where an “other ” cannot be present, meet, or feel us, gratitude flows forth in realising what is actually occurring is a further dying of this one’s attachment to identification. There is no person here to hold expectations of any other “person”. Just Beings, playing in form. The temporary movement of grief is welcomed. The greater movement into freedom is welcomed.

Let us practice in meaningful ways dropping into this aspect of true nature. Not only when things are going well in the eyes of the person(ality) but recognising that every experience, every interaction and every stripping away is a Divine messenger, a holy ally created by our own Selves to illuminate the light of Truth.

Helen meets in one to one sessions globally to facilitate wholeness. Please explore her site for a deeper taste and to book an appointment.
Sessions are offered in person and online from the Sacred transformative location of Mount Shasta, California, root chakra of the planet.
You are also welcome to connect on facebook. Helen will be offering a programme of group gatherings in 2019.

Circles of transition

moon shasta redding real estate

Life has had me intensely in Her grip in past weeks. As for many of us, it seems. Huge transitions have been in play in all levels of my world, much of which remain quiet, integrating within.  And I have come to realise that this is equally the intensity that is moving in the collective as polarities in consciousness actually are pulled together to explode into what is true.

It has been a time of the circle. Completions and beginnings both interweave and overlay; one and the same. Timelines merge. The layers opening in recent times across so many levels have called for every bit of my energy and sometimes more.  On the third day of landing in California, dissolution happened in a vivid way. What seemed almost insanely intense, I slowly came to sense was not only (or even) personal. Of course, I had been under immense stress and pressure – relocating my family five thousand miles and much more – but I came to hear and feel of soul family equally cracking, weeping, dissolving, immobilised with exhaustion with striking power.  In this, I am grateful for the reminding that we are ever and always droplets in a moving, breathing, shifting ocean, each both drop and ocean, which brings some gentle comfort to the burning soul and aching body.

I find the invitation ever more vivid to be fully present to exactly what is – the raging; the holy fire; the inability to summon energy to function; the fury, despair, tenderness, quaking vulnerability, and always, always pulsing silently or loudly, – Love. Now I am beginning to drop tendrils into the Californian soil, to exhale, to soften into this more deeply. I feel my soul dropping deeper into my physicality, many aspects of my Self aligning. The threads that weave the invisible sanctuary in which Being can thrive are mysterious and many.

In these past days, the moon rose in her fullness over Mount Shasta. In Capricorn, she heralds a time of decision making; decisions that bring us closer to who we are and anchor our essence in the material plane in how we live and act. I have also very much been feeling the feminine flow of gentleness and softness, amplified by the Sacred mountain, even in her unrelenting transformative potency. The Mother sings her embrace of Sacred cadence simultaneously as we are lifted to make real life-directing decisions and to act upon them. The balance of the masculine and feminine feels more rooted in life than ever before.

I am but a “newcomer” in this life to living in the embrace of the mountain, with aeons of learning to rediscover and forge anew. In this apprenticing, I observe in one day the movements between softest Grace and fierce fire. Opening up all the way to exactly what is showing up here and now, however discomfiting, opens us – parts of us we know well – to devastation. What feels like devastation can open in a breath. And what remains? What is beneath and around; caressing, whispering and wrapping its unyielding arms around all? The more fully one can BE right here, – without restriction, without the cloud of story, – the torrent of the Cosmos can wash away more stones, more dust, more veils of attachment to identity or belief.

What is left, is Life itself, without interpretation and the film of understanding.  Indescribable, indefinable beauty.  Direct. Alive. Without limit.

Dying and being reborn we are. Infinitely.

Helen offers one to one sessions globally. Explore more and book at www.helenquail.com or facebook. The next cycle of events will come to fruition and be posted on her site in due course.

 

 

love note

spring-awakening-3132112_1920

Just know that you are not alone.

Whatever you are feeling, however seemingly dense and impenetrable; if you are exhausted; emotional; feeling lost; wrestling in challenging body symptoms. The distortions up for releasing in the collective are epic.. Along with our own personal blueprints for soul growth and evolution…

We bleed, we cry, we get bone weary. And we get back up again.

None of it is personal.

Breathe deep into the space that is always here. The Love that infuses every aching corner, even in the darkest shadows.

Allow it all and believe nothing.

This is what we came for.

Reach out to Helen through her site or facebook.  She holds healing and transformational space with groups and individuals globally.

Grace and Desire

 

Joma Sipe - LUMINE STELLARUM 2015 light of the stars

Artist – Joma Sipe

There is a dance at the heart of every awakening Being. Of the eternal longing to KNOW and BE the fullness of our absolute Divinity – in form. And the fear and aching grief of the countless times we have felt that we have fallen short of the immeasurable.

As I ponder deeply into this well once more with Beloved souls, I witness the voice within that still – and always – speaks to being not enough. The hallmark of ego – not good enough; there is always something or some place that is better. Something to strive for (and therefore some failing in that there is always a place to reach for).

I have hugely more compassion and love for this expression of self that needs to be heard. I understand her somewhat more, her voice so very familiar. Indeed the voice that led and shaped my life for the first decades. I am again and again practising calling her and all her pain into the unconditional embrace of Love. Perhaps this will be a lifelong embrace.

And as I slow and breathe bigger, She is Here. She who has no name, no identity. Indeed no voice as Her voice is all voices. She is the stars. She is the blackness that absorbs everything. She is the magnitude of the Earth, Her soft, moist fecundity merging with any sense of this body.

Longing and longed for re-member into what Is, always.

Helen is honoured to serve through one to one consultations in person and globally. A programme of events for 2018 is currently germinating. You can sign up for occasional mailings and find out more about her work at her site, also about to be reconstructed.  Or connect on facebook.

1111 Awakening through Life

holding-world

As I returned to my writing screen, it was 11.11 – a significant portal for the awakening frequencies of the Divine to be received and integrated by humanity. The 111 codes ask us to be utterly conscious of our dreams, our thoughts and our words and to ensure that our movements in the physical realms, whether word or action come from our highest expression and awareness of consciousness.

I always feel 111 and 11.11 related to new beginnings. For of course consciousness is the Creator, the beginning, the manifester. And simultaneously completely outwith any concept of time. The reality which is present in every breath is heightened – that we are given the chance to begin afresh. This, not in terms of denying exactly where we are and all the circumstances we have created to be at this precise point, but rather arising FROM every thought and action that has gone before. As every nutrient and day of gestation creates an entirely new Being in human form on the planet when a baby is born, so all our choices and seeming failures to act in the highest alignment create the perfect, optimum conditions for this deep birthing.

It is also now eight days since my mother passed from her human body.

And six since America voted for Donald Trump to be its president.

None of it unrelated.

One of the gifts of these last days at my mother’s bedside is the knowing which may previously have drifted into being more intellectual, that EVERYTHING in my experience, in my world, is interconnected. This has dropped right down into my belly. Into absolute knowing.

My mother’s transition and the profound experiences that took place towards it; the water protectors and protests at Standing Rock; uncomfortable tensions with my siblings; my deep soul love and alchemy with my partner; my children expressing challenging responses and behaviours; my ex husband not showing up fully as a father; a dear soul sister leaving the country; the political coup in Turkey and the American elections.

All of it.

Let me breathe this circle.  Sit with me here. In the centre. When we return to this still point, we feel our column of light anchoring both into Gaia’s heart and that of Source. We reclaim our infinite strength as Divine beings playing in this human movie for a few moments. From here, we can watch the dance of all that is playing out in these movies on the world stage and on the more “personal” stage of our private lives.

A tricky and essential distinction to navigate is that of witnessing and knowing this is all illusion yet not falling into spiritual bypassing. This is sold seductively in new age thinking and often can creep into us without our noticing. At the other end of the loop is getting caught in the drama of the collective and letting ourselves believe any of it is actually real. How to acknowledge and honour pain in any Being without losing sight and knowing of what is real? Can we remember that everything is created by Divine intelligence for the evolution of consciousness?

We – as embodiments of Divine Source are here as co-creators, with free will and living in form surrounded by the density of soul amnesia. This earth school journey is one to bring Divinity into form. To live it in our human-ness – our ability to FEEL intensely; to cry and dance and laugh and make love. What a magical, majestic and joyful play we are in!

Dancing this balance is an art form that requires practice till the moment our essence leaves this plane. We can never be complacent, for the cumulative weight of conditioning rains into our bones and cells each and every day. We never become immune to that but hopefully, with dedicated intention and practices, we learn to soften it, to understand it and – crucially – not to identify with it. Perhaps we may even learn to love the healthy ego structures that allow us to function as human and in community. And anything that shows up on our personal or global horizon as manifestations of that which wishes to be acknowledged and loved into harmony.

We are all in uncharted waters in these new lands. Four years on from the 2012 gateway, we have another especially heightened window through to 1.1.17 to receive and embody higher Divine frequencies. None of this can be done when our inner work and our shadow work is not addressed at ALL levels. All are equally essential. So in the face of political instability and extremes; natural “disasters” and personal experiences of loved ones choosing to leave earth or relationships dissolving, we do our work. We walk our talk.

We let go of the temptations to judge, to feel ever so subtly “right”, vindicated or superior. We accept that every being on this planet is an equal expression of the magnificence of the Divine. That is why we are required to practice our mastery through every moment of our day (and night). Use the tools that best nourish you – particular meditations; body practices; time in nature and KNOW that you are part of a soul tribe, whether you know them directly or not. We have our families of light – many on earth, many more on other stars and galaxies. Remember to sing to each other the song of our hearts. To radiate the light of our souls, thus lighting the way for all of us who find it hard to see through the shadows at times.

Let light shine upon every heart awakening us to our true nature.

And so it is.

Helen is in service to consciousness and has a particular role with the frequencies of the Cosmic Divine Feminine. Offerings come through direct consultations and personal sessions (in person or Skype globally); gatherings, events and retreats worldwide; light transmissions and writing. Please connect through facebook or her website, where you can also signup for very occasional mailings to stay informed.