Tag Archives: divine feminine

Shadow Sisters

tidesI am wading through some deeply uncomfortable murky waters in my belly. They feel as ancient as the seas of Gaia herself. Waters that have been filled with the tears of generations of mothers, sisters, lovers, daughters.

My head wants to jump in an attempt to fence in these waters; barricade against the storms –  but they are bottomless and unknown. They contain the unseen wounds and the unheard screams. They contain the bleeding of millions of wombs and tears of many more eyes.

I can only lay face down in Her and add my tears and my exhale. I am you.

Let us not lay our wounds before each others feet in a desperate attempt to prove ours are greater; to compensate for all the lifetimes where they have not been held and honoured. Nor let us deny that which moves through every one of us.

birth

My human self may writhe and contract but the ocean in my belly just is.

The Immortal Magdalene is here to bring our full glorious sexuality into the core of our Beings and forms. Every place where this has been denied, suppressed or blatantly and viciously abused will float to the surface.

I feel the pains. I feel the beauty even in the agony. And I feel the infinite love that created all of it. In the deep sadness there is a tenderness of sisterhood that is exquisite and a perfection in the design that we may never touch.

We are one in our journey with this.

And as our beloved men come towards us ever more courageously, in our alchemy we birth anew the waters of life from our wombspace.

May these rich waters fertilize our compassion and forgiveness, growing forth first and foremost for our own cells, our own DNA. As I heal my own pain of abuse – in this lifetime and many, I heal that of my sister who feels unheard; I heal the silent screams of the young African girl being held down and raped; the Indian grandmother being viciously beaten; of the broken hearts of fathers and brothers and sons and lovers lost in the dark delusion of misusing sexual power.

May we all swim in these waters as light and darkness dance and realign, finding our way to Source in its eternal evolving.

May we love as fully as we are and can. May it be so.

 

Helen serves consciousness and the expansion and anchoring of Divine Feminine frequencies through various forms – individual consultations and healing sessions; facilitating groups globally; retreats and virtual transmissions. Please connect through facebook or her site where you can sign up for occasional mailings.

 

 

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To hold the truth of essence without abandoning Self

Loving couple holdind on the hands and sunset

The Heart of the Goddess loves infinitely. She nurtures. She embraces all in this love. A vital distinction in the path of the awakening feminine is to hold space and call forth the masculine BUT not at the expense of her own integrity, safety, growth, evolution and freedom.

This is a matter firstly of revealing and softening the conditioning and archetypes; of breaking through outdated distorting and suffocating structures and reclaiming the freedom of who we know ourselves to be. Humanity and all creation has witnessed many repeating cycles of power flowing between masculine and feminine expressions of Source in form. We are in an epoch where it is possible to reclaim the Divine feminine and – I believe deeply in my body – for this to be received and find balance with a healed and whole expression of the masculine energies of Divinity. This is a point in “time” arrived across millions of years of evolution. It is the gateway we exist in where Divine Union truly is possible.

And it is a matter of LOVE. In our deep abiding love, especially as women, we can give so much, care so much. One of the first lessons showing up for any who enter a path of spiritual learning and growth is that of loving oneself. The cliché that we can only love others to the extent that we love ourself is very true. But many of us have received models of pouring our love outwards to others without an even greater in-pouring inwards – that seems to function to a certain degree – and is certainly the accepted “norm” in the world around us. And this can continue in the spiritual world as we open our heart and become more loving. What we find is that the deeper we go – the more we evolve – the more we are also called BACK. Back in and down to love more and more our OWN Self.

What we are relearning is that the deepest core expression and celebration of love lies in our own Being and loving our own heart. In all its crackedness, bitterness, shadowy places. In all its glory and magnificence. Its’ fury, its’ power, its’ tenderness. Its’ scars and tender places.Because we are experiencing love as the higher dimensional energy that it is, loving the 3d heart and all expressions of human-ness from and as the infinite one love.

Love is not sugar coated and fluffy but fierce Grace that flinches from nothing, holds nothing sacrosanct – no belief, no relationship, no behaviour. It calls us out again and again, with a compassion and laser focus that has no equal. Turn to me. Turn to me and do not turn away. Bring all of you.

So we are asked to look at again at all the places that have learned to love and be loved, to give and receive. And to stand naked ready to meet all those we do not know.

The more deeply and fiercely we liberate our essence as Love, we offer liberation to the unseen and unknown parts of our being. The wounded places that have remained in our subconscious until such a point that the love present calls them forth. Calls them forth AS love. As perfect expressions of the Divine speaking to the Divine. And we can find a place in us to truly, deeply welcome these limping, spitting, bleeding parts. We commit to not turning away in shame or judgement but stepping towards, embracing with pure love. With gratitude. Again and again.

The feminine collective consciousness is actively bringing to light the oldest of patterns and imbalances expressed through the (distorted) masculine. As awakening beings – especially for women – longing to return to the deepest knowing and experience of the Love that we are, we have commonly been conditioned to lose our identity, independence – emotional or financial – in romantic partnerships or marriage. In this now, we have the opportunity to completely redefine true healthy relationship – founded on whole and loving relationship with our own self  and mirrored in a much more healthy and rigorous balance with our Beloved partner.

So can we stand in presence and in our hearts, holding the knowing of who we are, and the mirror of Divine presence to the “other ” before us, and not drop back into the old, old patterns of giving everything for this love? We are asked to hold our own integrity above all else. This arises not only from getting clear on our core moral values and the meaning we ascribe to this life experience but from a deep and unconditional presence of love. For our self and for who Life has placed before us. Right now. And this is not emotional love, romantic love nor restricted by mental concepts of love.

Love – like “enlightenment” or the Divine – is by its very nature limitlessness.

At the heart is our deep self care. We are learning to create a sanctuary that is impenetrable by anything that is not Love.  One that holds both inner and outer being in safety, deep love and strength at all levels. To wrap safety around our tissues and fields that does not carry even the feintest trace of restriction or repression, that has no connection with fear; nor seeking security or control; that is rooted and grounded utterly in trust in Source itself. This is the safety we are held in as women (and men). If we choose it.

So we are tested and given the practice to walk with again and again. Can I hold this being in love yet not compromise my own light? Can I love myself deeply and whoever is before me as Love in form, yet not compromise the honouring of either of our essences?

As expressions of the Divine feminine can we continue to shine a beacon of light; radiate limitless love with neither expectation that the masculine will do or be “anything” nor hooking ourselves into any “outcome”? Can we do this yet know when to walk away at physical an emotional level for our own wholeness (and so theirs)?

Can I hold the truth of this man’s essence, let him be where he is without abandoning him or myself?

This Beloveds is our invitation.

Helen is a love and light worker, serving consciousness. She offers writings, worldwide events, retreats and one to one sessions. If you are interested in knowing more, or in details of 2016 programmes please see her site, fb or sign up for an occasional newsletter.

 

 

Opening Doors

 

Lauren Kristin - love is sitting in silence and feeling the other

Image  Lauren Kirstin

A favourite family memory is of how  the toy pram I loved to push around contained not a doll but books. Since I was a young girl I knew that I was on earth to write a (at least one) book. Fascinating that only at this stage in my life is that first book  to come to physical form. This absolute knowing of this call was prior to any sense of conscious awakening to the greater wonder of life and a path in service to the Divine.

The avenue of writing is a door that has been patiently held open for me since childhood, awaiting as much of me that I choose to bring through it. And other key gateways have one after another come into view – or I have found myself stepping through.

I spent many hours as a girl in my own company, quiet and thoughtful and unsure of this place I found myself in. Often reading and writing or being in nature. I was actually being deeply prepared energetically and vibrationally, but this did not come to my knowing until decades later. Church left me bored and deadened and my only calling to anything “spiritual” were daydreams about being a nun like my beloved aunt  with whom I always had a close connection.

I  was little in my body actually and certainly took upon myself beliefs that I was not athletic, strong, vigorous or courageous in my physicality. I remained largely in my consciousness and elsewhere, dancing dimensions, awash at a physical level in the vibrations of the conditioning of family and culture which felt so “alien” to my essence as  a Cosmic being. Born under Leo I also carried a deep shyness as well as wild passion and courage and a strong call to lead.

My blogs are always inspired by my journey and my most intimate experiences and learnings. For several years I have been travelling internationally as guided, offering events, retreats and gatherings. My work is entirely guided by Spirit and my highest aspects so it is very intuitive and unstructured. It asks that I show up one hundred per cent, aligned, present and in trust – with each being who has felt a call to co create and show up. In this alignment there is – as much as possible – no “personal”, only trust and surrender to the Divine. But of course I am human and egoic as well as Divine – as are we all – so we are  present and relating to consciousness through the degree to which in any moment we are in these filters and the degree to which  we are capable of aligning with highest level of pure consciousness, One mind, One heart. If that is our choice.

After a huge nine month journey of creation, expansion, loving, letting go, moving, resting and retreating, my focus since the September Equinox gateway, which I experienced in Giza, Egypt, through the dark womb of winter and onwards, is deeply on inner  work and letting all notions around forms of expression dissolve. My attention is particularly with healing core wounds between the masculine and feminine which reside unresolved in my being, and in the collective consciousness. This is a critical key in the next stage of both my personal growth and wholeness and service, as well as a service to Sacred union manifesting and being accessible to all on earth. Whilst I have been deeply committed and actively working with all aspects of my self for twenty years, my being is now insistent on a deep, deep dive and the fuller embodiment that is possible.

An essential approach in this shadow work is fully turning towards that which shows up – and loving it in wholeness as the Divine speaking to the Divine. At the heart of this for my soul, the core wounds relate to those between the masculine and feminine and the energies that have been distorted in endeavours to control and stifle sexuality in the collective.

It has been brought to my awareness that, due to the astrological alignments at my birth, part of my role is to manifest the most private, personal and sensitive parts of my soul publicly, in the world. Not an easy calling for any of us. I place great value on authenticity and integrity in all my work. And in honesty. This does not come without a price.

In earth incarnations , I have lineages in the Isis and Magdalene mystery schools; as a Priestess of the Moon; in the highest temples of Atlantis and, very close to my heart resonance, in Lemuria. This is relevant in that, through these experiences, amongst others, I have deep cellular knowledge and memories of many things (we all do) and part of those skills, teachings and gifts are in sacred sexuality as a pathway to the Divine.

In the deeper and freer engagement with my fullness in form, it is my realization now that – with whatever openings, deepening and expansions I have been involved in personally over a number of years, and in my sharing through my writing, I  have not expressed “this aspect” of me publicly through my work and writing. My deep, alive Sacred sexuality.

I fully appreciate that many of us don’t discuss our sexual selves openly. The oppressive weight of conditioning when it comes to sexuality is deadening. Raised a Catholic in the west of Scotland, I can assure you that tantric practices and sexual bliss were not anywhere to be found on the curriculum. (Think martyrdom, repression and sex only in marriage and for the sole purpose of baby making!) And as a young woman who was pregnant and unmarried at age seventeen, I again tasted these ancient distortions and projections first hand.  I was also struck by the level of hypocrisy and repressiveness around sexuality in America in the time I spent there last year. Scotland is not particularly liberal but seems somewhat more honest and real in relation to our bodies and the earthiness and reality of our sexual selves.

Just as our relationship with the Divine is deeply intimate yet utterly Universal, our sexuality is a deliciously unique expression of this relationship – and of our relationship with being in this life and form. But as spirituality has been attempted to be strangled and controlled through most orthodox religion, so has sexuality been dragged behind closed doors, repressed, hidden and painted with fragrances of shame to keep it deeply buried and “private”.

Particularly for women today, to reclaim our bodies, energy and power as Sacred sexual beings also means facing and healing the many generations of pain we have experienced  – from rape, torture and death to emotional and mental abuse. Whether as temple priestesses or young woman of the village; as wife, daughter, mother and lover. Beloved Sisters I bow to you for your depth of courage in loving so fiercely, so tenderly; in accepting this call to heal now. And Beloved Brothers I honour you also for your massive bravery, in opening to unknown and uncharted ways; for slowly but surely creating spaces of safety for the healing of your Beloved ones and for yourselves. As Claire Zammit articulated perfectly in her discussion of “Feminine Power” “together we have the power to participate in creating the future of relationships and the highest level of intimate relationship possible in history.” That is a truly huge and inspiring consideration.

In my own opening of deep inner doors, I am compelled to open this door, here, “publicly”. To declare my willingness to bring all parts of this one to expression. In opening this door to sharing more of such an integral part of my essence and humanity, it is a gift to my own wholeness and in this, it is my prayer that these reflections may – if it is to be – gently nudge open a door welcoming our greater realization.

If it’s not for you, perfect. I can – as I often state – only write that which I am called and guided to (whether the “I” likes it or not). Displaying vulnerability too is a massive gift – to ourselves and to all. It speaks of a foundational trust in the benevolence of Life itself IF we are moved to show this vulnerability without egoic agenda and simply in naked truth. (No pun intended). We carry out this journey as only each of us can, directed by our souls, whether we listen and align or not. But we do it together as expressions of the one force that is all. Love.

And one of the richest and most potent gifts and purposes of choosing to incarnate in human form is to have a body that can channel, move and share life force. That can create and give birth to biological life itself. That can create bliss, union and transformations of consciousness through the conscious application of sexual energy. We can touch. We  feel the tingle of warm skin alive to our caress. The pungent aromas of sweat, the salty taste of tears. We can move body and soul through the enlivening and directing of shakti and sexual energy.

As the Feminine reclaims her voice and her power, she also reclaims her body and sexuality. And she does it in partnership with the masculine. As he is invited to reconnect to his vulnerability, to his emotional core; to his true sensual and sexual nature and  to the softness in his strength, together we can explore the worlds of joy, depth, healing, power and transformation available through being Spirit in very human form. Each one of us – whatever gender, whatever sexual preferences, has this invitation and capacity first and above all with our own self, our own energies and body. Then to further this growth as can only be done in direct, embodied intimacy with other beings. Sexual,  emotional, mental and physical beings, blessed with all the gifts, challenges and sensuous experiences of having this particular form.

So with all my years of cutting through and shaking off these binds, of breathing more deeply, moving more freely – I am stepping through another door. My voice may just echo that vibration within you, as within many sisters at this time  who are bursting into far deeper, freer expression. And with the brothers who are so empty from the meaningless ideas of sexual conquest and performance and the lack of authentic models of emotional balance and maturity, awakening to spiritually fulfilling sexual intimacy as an expression of all that we are.

The limitless love of the returning feminine requires a deeply safe container and this is the Divine masculine presence which each of us – whatever gender – is called to cultivate. The feminine in turns brings the deepest love and nurturing to the strength and force of the masculine aspects, receiving him fully, with compassion bathing any  bruisedness, softening rigidity and opening his Sacred heartspace.

The only way I can move into and through my present work is through this healing and harmonizing taking place through my beloved body and in direct, authentic and intimate relationship – with myself and others. To the degree that each one of us as souls-in-body increases our capacity to be and express Divine Love in wholeness, we bless our world with that joyous alignment and vibrational increase in consciousness.

I invite us to lean in to a deeper intimacy and to get naked together.

I love you.

Helen is a love and light worker, energy healer and writer serving consciousness. She offers  worldwide events, retreats and one to one sessions as well as her writings. If you are interested in knowing more, or in details of the 2016 programme as available please see her site, fb or sign up for an occasional newsletter.

 

Letting go

sister trust

The sweet release,

the freefall

through tears

 

Into what feels like the abyss

for a time

beyond time

 

The sweet release

that is falling, falling

releasing the grasp, releasing the longing

 

For beyond all

is the vastness

that is you,

that is I,

that is beyond

both.

 

Beyond seeking

beyond wanting

beyond the longing of this heart

 

There is everything.

 

There is Love.

 

 

Helen Quail  31.1.15

 

Connect with Helen through her website or facebook

Surrender to the Beloved

Being detached has nothing to do with not having.... it has to do with not holding -Swami Chetanananda

Being detached has nothing to do with not having…. it has to do with not holding -Swami Chetanananda

I am totally committed to honouring what Life/the Universe brings to me and asks of me, every moment to the very best I can. That is I “think” I am. So of course I fail and mess up but I keep surrendering. This is my surrender and dedication. My Life. I am willing to dive into the unknown – always – if it resonates in my soul.

This leads me to look at how I take care of my Self and my soul. How I honour my space. Holding my space, trusting my heart, honouring my integrity, not losing myself in any other, trust, surrender, owning my power.

To look deeply at my motivations for any action and the impulse to share.

Letting confusion be without getting pulled into it, off centre or closing down my Heart..

So I chose what is good for my soul. I (try to) stay back from all that doesn’t resonate or feel totally honouring but I listen to what draws me, exploring and I am willing to surrender to That

Always That

All is between me and the Divine. The key is clear listening.

The power of soul magnetizations in these times is breath-taking. This demonstrates again what blessed and accelerated times we are here on Planet Earth in.

I honour each and every experience I am given – and that of others – deeply – but am looking closely again and again at letting all fall away that relates to the “personal”.

I understand ideas of the monad division and each soul splitting in two. These can be valuable frameworks for navigating the intensity of these rides. I am not that interested in debating the truth of this, for it is something no one can be sure of. My learning all comes from the direct experience of heart and soul. And the heart cannot be found with the mind.

“I” am not a soul either. A spark of Divine essence manifests into being throughout time.

I am That. All playing through one spark meeting another spark and igniting the bonfire.

I feel deeply how my connection is with the Beloved which cannot go away. He/She is all around me, in me, of me. Every “other” is simply a vehicle to reconnect to That which Is. Every One can express this infinite Divine Love through their Being to the extent that they are able and the depths that we connect.

There is no other.

There is no I.

It is all already Here.

Yes I feel the massive resonances of soul connections and how they propel me into deep learning and explosive heart openings. But to believe in twin flames as “the” means to wholeness and ascension is – can be – just another “story”. That we need another to complete us. Any story keeps us in “I” and “you”

Away from  One.

As past life memories and experiences help us more fully anchor in all that we are and our multi-dimensional Self, they can also be a seductive minefield for the ego that simply attaches to a more attractive or impressive “spiritual” identity. Give up ALL stories even 5th, 6th, 7th dimensional ones.

Drop all identification with any “one”, any “other”.

Lover, soul mate, twin flame.

All attachment.

When souls are drawn together, when timelines open, it is because teachings are available. Keys are available.

These can only be accessed, received and embodied if both/all parties are willing to receive.

So it is not about committing to “relationship” or “other” but about saying yes to Life.

Again and again, every time She opens us, cracks us, throws us into confusion, puts us on our knees.

surrender

Dissolve into the vastness so great it terrifies us.

Into the Love we so long for and so fear. Dissolve.

Let go of clarity and knowing.

Surrender to the Great Mystery.

Let go. Let go.

Surrender to Life

Not to another.

There is no hiding place. No “stop point”. No solution.

So I rise up and play with the dance of Life.

Turning to pure relating. Dropping all forms of relationship again and again to simply meet each Being as they are, moment to moment.

All infinite, unique expressions of source.

All Love.

I play with the Dance of Life.

©  Helen Quail November 2014play with the dance of life

Helen plays with light and love to assist us all in expansion and remembering. Connect through consultations, groups, seminars, wring and global light transmissions via her website or facebook.

 

Mother of Angels

Mother of Angels

“She” is not “there”.

She is here in my Heart. One with the angels and the Light of All.

There is no separation for we have always been so and soon it will reveal.

Mother of Love. Of Compassion without form.

It is all I Am, in You.

Mother of One, there is no separation. For Truth cannot be divided.

In my Heart it is known – has always been so – and now is the time of remembering.

Be as this. Be “I” you cry. Yet still be that of your Heart.

There is no other in this world who can be as you are. We are woven. We are One. We are never apart.

I love you.

Connect to Helen through facebook or her website. She offers individual and group healing sessions; workshops and online events globally – in person or through skype.