Tag Archives: feminine

Embracing He and She as One

We are familiar with them but often blinded or, even more so, numbed, by the familiarity and pervasive social support for these constructs of control. The patriarchal patterns, anchored in money and power via the material realm and so woven into the structures of society have been used over the “feminine” and culturally embedded for many, many lifetimes as a tool of control and separation. The good news is that they are so “up” for being held and met, in and as full awareness in these times of times. The external struggles simply reflect the inner fragmentation. My system feels the toxicity of this whole illusion in the belly, heart and throat as it comes closer and deeper into the home of Love.

Shadow not brought to the light of consciousness activates and perpetuates more shadow. The feminine shadow includes ungrounded emotionality and manipulation of feeling and sexuality. Here, she can falsely seek her own control and expression and he retreats, feeling unsafe. Or, very often, she is silenced in the weight of his wielding this abuse of power. Her voice is yet again attempted to be removed. She is denied.

In this disconnect, He is in vast pain from the fragmentation from his own Presence into life with all its challenges. Empty of purpose, he grasps to external forms to fill the void. Inwardly there is the ache of longing for what she holds as the dance with creation. She feels the rage and despair of countless lifetimes of being silenced and suppressed and the bottomless grief of “him” not being there for “her”. She is cut off from He. Voice is not founded in Presence. Presence has no fully embodied form to move and create and express. There is no ground of Being for life to fully dance.

The true masculine is pure endless awareness, with its’ essential nature as peace, stillness, joy. The true feminine is love, creation, movement, shakti, sexuality. Both are within – within every one of us – male or female in form. The balance and the integration in each being vary tremendously. Yet, form and formless are constantly seeking the “other”; the merging back into wholeness that was never lost, just veiled by the belief in who we thought we are; fed by the blood of endless wounds and drowned out by the whirling of the over-stimulated mind.

What deep, deep energies these patterns carry in our collective and how the heart swells in compassion for each of us when we get caught in this “hell”. To the extent that we identify with these plays, we suffer so deeply. When we fall into seeking control – in any way – and certainly through external, unreal constructs of money and ownership, we have lost touch with our Self. We are anchored wholly in the false “I” that is separate. She cannot open and be met. He cannot access the limitless dancing of the Cosmos through Her.

The fragmentation between these expressions of One within every being – whatever gender – is our fundamental disconnect from true nature. The apparent hell of the separate worlds of victim and oppressor; of the abandoned child; of the alone heart – all can be recognized in the ocean of That which is. The integration calls for nothing other than the meeting with full Presence to every movement of creation and form; feeling, thought, body, circumstance. Every play through form is drenched in limitless awareness. There is no separation.

Helen works individually with people from around the planet, as a guide, healer, teacher – facilitating inquiry and embodiment into our true, multi dimensional unlimited nature. Book here or sign up for occasional updates on events, groups, online programmes and her writings. Feel welcome to connect on Facebook.


On Trust

bodiesA wise and extraordinary  teacher of mine often says “trust no-one, not even yourself.” When I first heard this I was surprised – coming from such an evolved and heart based being. The wisdom and depth of this teaching goes on….” trust what you can KNOW – the earth beneath your feet, the stars in the sky, the sun, the moon.”

My path at this time very much calls me in to places of woundedness that have – even with decades of dedication to personal growth –  been largely concealed in shadow my entire life. These places especially concern the masculine expression and aspect of me/Source and nurturing a healthy balance between my feminine and masculine. I have been embracing this exploration for many months, committing to it deeply for a number of those, yet only now I find myself truly stepping in to the mouth of the cave.

(It is endlessly surprising and humbling to observe oneself called again and again to the same cycles that have been worked with for decades only to reveal whole “new” layers as one progresses on the path. And of course illuminates the foolishness and absolute arrogance of ever thinking we are remotely “done” on a particular topic. No matter how much inner work we have done, we must prepared to be humbled in any second by what is unleashed and revealed by the ruthless Grace of Life.)

And a big piece in this shadow work relates to trust. The countless ways that trust has been decimated as spirit in the form of a female incarnated on this planet. Commonly by the masculine. In working on freeing myself from generations of control and manipulation, fully standing in liberation and sovereignty, the circles expand through not only my ancestral line but all beings. Personally and collectively. I – and many of us – especially females – feel and carry it all, precisely so that it can be healed and transmuted. And we are each called to find balance in union within, healing , owning all that we are – whatever gender – in Sacred equanimity. And the call to trust is in our ultimate connection with Source, the One.

I believe we have moved way beyond the days of “blaming” and judging either men or women for our roles in this dance. Yet there is still the invitation for deep forgiveness and healing. For an expansion of love that can hold and transmute all – within and as expressed through “other”.

In my role as a transmitter for particular frequencies of the Divine feminine, this service can only be truly fulfilled through bringing these energies fully into and through form and in healing not only the wounded feminine carried and expressing through this form but also – essentially – the wounded masculine.

So that both parts can see, honour and embrace each other in wholeness.

So the play in this particular life in recent months has been for Life to bring forth several men for intense, intimate relationship – under the “mantle” of Sacred union. And they have served greatly to direct me to the shadow places calling for my love and awareness. In the role of the “Divine awake masculine”– consciously or unconsciously bringing forth the woundedness, the distortions, the shadows, the manipulation – BECAUSE – they are but a mirror to those places asking for attnetion and more than anything unconditional love within me and my relationship with the Divine masculine, with “God” , as well as masculine in form.

And they are also manifestations of an outplacing of my desire to meet the wholeness of the Divine masculine in me/other. No matter the seeming evidence of consciousness and awakening work, where I see a significant gap  between what is projected and the reality of where consciousness and ego are, then I must dig deeper. This is also of course centrally where I study closely where this may be relevant to my own self and  focus carefully in discerning what serves my growth.*

So whilst my aching hurt and grieving personality at least briefly wanted to cry – “Again!! He has let me down again. The masculine cannot be trusted” – I  come to a place of gratitude pretty immediately at the perfection. There are many rich teachings and important ones on naiveté and trust. On the sophistication and intelligence of the darkness. On the complexity of shadow and woundedness. On listening more astutely to the promptings of the intuition. And – essentially – having the courage to let go of what is not real nor in alignment….and….trust in that letting go again and again to the unknown- of what may have seemed to hold promise.

Everything that shows up in my life asks for my careful attention. Everything is a mirror of both Divinity and ego. So I take all the gifts and challenges of these connections into the container of my inner reflection and awareness for contemplation and digestion. At the same time, applying careful discretion as to what aspects of mirroring I take as clear and resonant.

The invitation is also to delve deeper into those places  within me that have been too painful to even hold in the light – until now. And to nurture my own healthy masculine that can hold all – shadow and light – in the utter strength of unconditional love and presence. These souls are mirrors and teachers, as is every soul we encounter. This is about conscousness and peeling off yet further layers of illusion. Each shift in clarity and truth that any one of us creates, ripples through all consciousness.

Each experience with wounding, projection and a lack of authenticity I have encountered in my closest relationships has been a hugely powerful catalyst to awareness and growth. A great illuminator of the shadows and unconscious projections I still carry. And a vital invitation to honour my truth and authenticity and not give away my power to others’ expectation, however alluring. A relentless re-focusing on who I truly am and releasing roles, control and qualities imposed on me – and assumed by me (in many incarnations). And a catalyst to further jump-start and liberate even more my infinite heart and passionate body, the Sacred fires within me. The Love that I am is so beyond “personal”, so limitless. It has its home within me and this One calls to be absolutely embraced in this Love at the foundation of every movement, expression and relating.

So as the lessons show up, I learned more quickly this time and with less pain. I did not feel safe and my growing edge was to learn to keep myself safe(r). I did not feel respected, heard, held or revered. I did not felt fully met. Trust – in the human form – proved to be misplaced….So my invitation is to stand in those roles with love, compassion and dignity – no matter what – with all parts of me that show up. And to find the only place I CAN truly trust – God/Spirit.

And that means being – apparently – “alone” again. Alone with the Beloved and how the Beloved shows up in every single soul I encounter. How the Beloved expresses in my Being. With mySelf to go deep into the essential work that I am called to. Not pretty, not glamorous but oh so essential. Even with twenty years of self- development and exploration, these are whole other and vital layers in embodiment, growth and service.

Each soul has a journey in meeting, healing and embodying the Divine feminine and the masculine aspects within in order to come to wholeness. I know so many conscious women who are deeply frustrated at the apparent absence of equivalently  conscious and devoted-to-the-Divine men – open in their heart yet strong and balanced in their masculine self. We long to be met, heard, and held – as equals at all levels.  I don’t doubt this same seed of longing exists in the essence of many men also. The more each one of us – male or female – can love ourselves into wholeness, we literally (co)create new paradigms for this Sacred Union to be mirrored in the form of “other”.

For this one – as for many of us – at this time, my teaching – again – is to relax……to trust more completely what Life has in store; to take any longing inside – to my true and ultimate Sacred Union with the Divine. To nurture all of these qualities within and through me in that connection. And if it is in indeed – as it seems – Spirit’s plan for this wholeness and Sacred Union to embody truly in the physical then I am deeply grateful when that ultimately does show up in Truth.


When in hurt we have the choice to constrict, to be bitter and armoured or to embrace the learning with deep humility and grace and keep our heart wide open. I have made both choices in the past but now there can only be one choice. For the path of dedication to Spirit demands all, everything. Demands our wide open, cracked, bruised, blood spattered heart lain on the altar. Again…And again…

For now, the invitation is to trust That which is. Not any individual. Not any man. Nor woman.  And most certainly not my own mind. To trust more completely, utterly in the Divine. And thus see and experience each one of us as Spirit in form doing our best to navigate the challenges of duality, human needs and our projections.

It was demonstrated to me again very dramatically recently in a supremely intense incident – triggered by a bizarre set of circumstances, precisely choreographed by Spirit – that I cannot trust anything my mind offers (unless received fully and absolutely in and through heart and belly) – anything!  I can trust my heart and my body. But I know how quickly and subtly the human mind can intervene and distort anything. I experienced the hellish agony of what the mind can throw up. I touched into the depths of fear and pain that have been locked within. I could not trust anything my mind generated. I could not trust the person I was with. I could not escape the situation.  I could only turn everything to God, breathing moment to moment for what literally felt like my life and a tenuous grasp on sanity. It was an unequivocably powerful teaching that could only have been lived through my vulnerable and embodied experience. And calling in all parts of me to hold my self through it.

I watch very carefully for pride and ego showing up as obstacles to transformation. I have watched the dissolution of my most intimate relationships in this past year as a result of the projections of ego – both my own and theirs. My deep calling this year is liberation. From the illusions of ego, from ancient echoes of suffering. Liberation into Love and trust in Life beyond anything before. In knowing that the Divine is the true home of trust, that does not bring cynicism nor disillusionment but rather liberation from hurt and disappointment through misplaced trust and projection. And freedom to receive every one of us in deeper compassion in our human-ness – especially myself.

So I take my grief, my aches, any sense of betrayal and disappointment, my aloneness, my passion, my joy and aliveness to the Divine.

To the Beloved who is me/you/everything. Holding all places in Love.

I take my vast love.

My light. My shadow.

My longing and desire.

My surrender. My not knowing,

All that I am.

I give All to God.

This I can trust.

*I am aware that some of my sharings are deeply personal. I can only write what I am guided to and what comes from and through my heart. They are but my reflections of pieces of my dance, offered unconditionally as perceived and felt in this now, with humility, gratitude, respect and love for each soul playing any part. We are all actors in this earth school, serving Love. With this, it is my hope and intention that in sharing, the words and the energy in them may touch, awaken and inspire in even the smallest ways.

Helen serves consciousness and love through global events, international gatherings,  one to one consultations and writings. Please get in touch through her site or facebook.


Fasting – One experience

embodied feminineI am drawn to share with you my recent experience of fasting which has been revelatory on many levels and deeply positive. Of course these are uniquely personal but perhaps will resonate and assist in some way. I was touched and amazed at the synchronicity as I decided to fast, of many soul family also doing so and the circle we hold for one another is ever present.

I had the idea to fast perhaps for a day, then maybe three prior to my forthcoming travels, but it became obvious in one moment that I was to go into fast in in alignment with the last full moon and also synching in with the fast of soul family also. They were fasting for seven days, which they had done previously just a few weeks ago. I believed this to be most likely way beyond something I would attempt. All perfectly orchestrated of course, so I had no time to pre-plan or think in depth, but simply flowed. I had witnessed a lessened appetite for a long time. Paradoxically I found I tended to overeat at times as I was not eating in alignment with natural hunger.

In my early twenties I had – like many young women – a period of issues with food and weight control – so I am cautious about how I move with any food “regime”, wary of control or prescriptive practices that only serve to dissociate from the rhythms of my body and Being. So my intent was very much to listen, to watch and to do what truly felt aligned for my Being in this now. The purpose was very much to prepare my physical vessel to hold higher light and new templates for the forthcoming light work and journey to US/Hawaii which I know is hugely significant.

And how fascinating and nurturing it was. Moment to moment.

I entered with no set “agenda” of time. I had three days shown to me but previously I had only fasted once for 36 hours so I aimed to have no expectations and truly align with my body and Being. My first fast was done in very supportive circumstances, on retreat, in silence, able to rest and flow as required On that fast I felt very weak, extremely slowed down and quite shaky. Nevertheless I could feel how good it was for all of me and felt motivated to fast on a weekly basis but was deterred at the reality of combining with family life and cooking for four children daily.

I found this a completely different experience and much easier than might be expected.One that my body truly embraced. Also that I went much deeper. The first day especially was very interesting in watching the mental patterns and habitual impulses to just reach out and put something in my mouth.  And the impulse towards food felt very light and superficial actually. I observed and experienced hunger – which was not acute – seeing how it comes and goes. I witnessed the programming and conditioning more clearly than ever. And the layers of emotional patterns interwoven with food. I felt good, bright and really energised. Not cold or shaky. I experienced very little in the way of physical detox nor hunger discomfort.

In my first fast I thought a lot about food and what I would eat! This time not so at all. Another releasing of attachments. I saw that my body welcomed the fast. I needed to eat much less than I might have believed.

From the day before full moon I had a three day period of intense emotional releasing. It was very educational to watch this when not eating – and the impulses to self comfort and soothe through food. Being asked to be with the emptiness and the pain fully.

And also observing what it is to remove “food” from one’s day…how much is structured around it and the empty space that comes in when it is not there.

For three days I had water and herbal teas only. And what appreciation grows for such simple pleasures, and the exquisiteness of cool fresh water. I found the second two nights I experienced great vibration through my body and didn’t sleep well. Extremely lucid dreams. And on night three strong womb clearing.

On waking Day 3 and 4 I was shaky and hot. The waves of heat surprised me as I tend to coldness, especially when not eating much but clearly there was intense releasing. Day 3 I was guided to first of all have lemon juice and hot water and then I was fine. Day four I knew my body needed something more grounding. The shaking was more extreme and uncomfortable. And I had a few spells of feeling overcome. I knew the experience should not be an ordeal and to honour what my body was revealing.

I only needed literally a mouthful – an oatcake and nut butter – to feel well. Not hungry but re-integrating. I had a wonderful supportive massage and with this realized I had not been so in my body. Also that I needed to be still, quiet and inward and to eat another snack to ground in. In flowed sadness, very different from the earlier intense releases – both heavy and light at the same time, and very ancient. I watched and felt it quietly and the call to deeper self love and compassion.

A long spell of self healing led me to follow guidance to eat something again grounding in the evening. Not that I was even hungry but it felt nourishing to my body. And brought me more to Earth. I noticed very much that part of this sadness was the call to come into the physical density. Timeless, without end. And my resistance to this…

Deeper release came – of low, negative web patterns and rage…into pure joy and peace later through facilitating my light group.

I slept noticeably better and had no expectations as to whether I would continue having eaten something. In fact I just went with the flow and my body wanted little. Day 5 and 6 I had a small amount of fresh juice at some point in the afternoon when my body asked, then a small, nutritious meal later which tasted Divine and so nourishing.

I watched the thoughts that said I am forever changed in my relationship to food, then laughed as a jar of marshmallows in the kitchen cupboard almost immediately caught my attention, making me smile at how quickly the ego can attach onto any belief.

The energetic, emotional and spiritual processes over these days were most fascinating for me. When the body was quiet, meditation was indeed effortless. The first day especially I wanted only to be looking inward, deeper and deeper. The inflows of energies were huge throughout and I was more acutely aware of the vibratory resonance throughout my cells and light body. I truly experienced myself more completely as light and vibration. I am so grateful for the circle that came together with soul family and connected daily for three days supporting our initiations, further light activations and unique yet wholly inter-connected journeys.

Most wonderful of all were the Himalayan salt baths which I had most days. I moved out of the hologram and though dimensions, dissolving, traveling. Day four I awoke to visual phenomena. Not hallucinations as such, just shifting perceptions.

I felt into the space inside –not in my “belly” but in my whole Being. Saw how much “I” can try to fill the space, can be fearful of it. The void….that can feel like such sadness and emptiness but also unlimited pure Source field. And how this feels much more aligned and natural than the many ways I – and many of us can disassociate, numb out and attempt to “fill” ourselves.

Kundalini activations linked into burning and constriction in the spine which continues after the fast. Yoga as always helps. Though my energy was great, I feel more strength now too having taken in some food.

I am being guided already to do another fast soon. With more of a focus on physical clearing. That this was a “warm up”… 😉 Our guides are so smart. I would have been amazed to think I could have done what I did so relatively easily. I also feel much more aligned to eating truly with my own flow. I didn’t have the luxury of clear and free space to support the flow of my Being which would be ideal yet still I was amazed to watch how it unfolded, how easy it was in many ways and how supported I felt.

At this point I feel – know – I am permanently changed. In terms of mental programming and emotional responses, physical wellbeing and balance and most certainly in terms of my vibrational frequency and capacity to embody light. I have a deeper understanding of how to listen to what my Being actually requires and to pay attention to what is story or fear based programming.

At the core for me requires to be the feminine path, of listening, softness, flow. Not pushing and also watching closely the subtle ways ego can come in and the many ways the mental programmes can attempt to divert and hold us. Whilst at the same time holding great strength and focus. So I will listen, feel and honour as best as I can, ever deeper. Loving this Being. Loving the opportunity to be in a body on this wonderful planet. Loving the circles of Life that hold us all infinitely as we weave and dance.


Connect with Helen on her website or facebook




Holding Space

ARTIST Peter Westermann  Visual MathematicsMany of us have – with varying degrees of conscious awareness – been working through the layers of the “Trance of unworthiness” as Chameli Ardagh terms it. Having just emerged from a personal 21 day Magdalane sadhana, coming to fullness exactly the day before I travel on pilgrimage to southern France, I reflect on the nature of the personal and collective layers of unworthiness that are particularly – but of course not exclusively – held in the feminine consciousness.

Wading through the dense layers of illusion that have been constructed to disconnect us from Truth, so many of these in women are entangled with stories about both the body and sexuality. The container for essence in this human experience. The cloak of ego in all its shapeshifting forms has been wholly adopted by mass media and consciousness as powerful and pervasive tools of control and oppression.

But as we wake up – individually and collectively – to the toxic dreams of these stories we own our courage – as spiritual warriors – to stand in all our vulnerability, in all our uniqueness, and in our power – to be seen and heard.

In the journey of this “one”,  this pattern – of “unworthiness” has been strong. The classic strategy of the ego to attempt to deflect us from the magnificence of unlimited Being. As light and consciousness expand, the shadows, the wounds, may evolve, ease, purify but may not – necessarily – dissipate. They may remain – for days, weeks, years, lifetimes.  Yet nonetheless, we can come to see more and more that really there is less and less “separation” between personal and collective in that in each moment that one consciousness, one soul, chooses to deeply witness and alchemise whatever is playing out, all consciousness takes a breath of expansion.

And the layers of space that emerge – in our Being, around us and through the collective offer a rich and fertile landscape for the nurturing of That which we are and have always been. As the temporary fetters of forgetfulness fall away, there is only space. And only Love. Both. One.fire of life

When you are able
To make two become one,
The inside like the outside
And the outside like the inside,
The higher like the lower,
So that a man is no longer male
And a woman, female,
But male female
Become a single whole-
Then you will enter in ~ Gospel of Thomas

What anchors and embodies is the Truth of Being, That is the Love that we are. The infinite knowing of our Self as a child of the Living  Spirit.

This is ALWAYS there. Always available. Male, female, child or elder. And in the dance of human-ness we can make the choice EVERY moment. Towards the tightness of denial; the contraction of turning away or to choose Love. There is always the space of the breath and the vastness of the Sacred Heart which meets and holds every vibration that it encounters. Seeing it, acknowledging it in all its stickiness and shame. And in that, it too is Love.

We can refuse to be no less than Love. No matter how often the shadows and inner confusions call. We can hear,  turn to face them and  know that we are no less than Love.

Holding this space. Always.


Open the Gates

Open the gates my love
Fling them open wide
And let the light stream in.Magdalene - Karmie Varya

Open the gates my love
The gates of your Heart.
For now is the time
Never to depart.

No turning back into the night.
No struggling longer with fear,
Or with doubt.
Now is the time.

May sunlight caress you,
May moonlight bathe you.
May you be held in the arms of the ancients,
Adored once more.

May you know your magnificence.
May you know your All.
May the light shine brightly,
To dissolve all walls.

No more illusion.
No more insanity.
Only the opening,
To Truth and love

© Helen Quail, Orgiva, Spain  2014

Helen assists with the expansion of consciousness and light though individual sessions, groups, workshop and global light transmissions. Contact her through her website or facebook,

Brothers – an invitation

This is one is for you – the men, the “boys”, the males. Yes, you.

All this talk of Awakening, healing and restoring the Divine Feminine and this is precisely why YOU are who I wish to hear these words.Because this is about You. I. All.

We are – many of us – becoming familiar with the understanding that we are on a ride to heal and integrate the masculine and feminine aspects within. The extremes of suppression and abuse that have manifested externally on Earth have simply been mirrors to internal imbalance. This is the time of the Goddess. No question. But it is Her in all her infinite Divinity in full and equal partnership with the masculine expression. She requires to be illuminated because she has (attempted to have) been hidden and silenced but Her voice sings alongside His.

Mother and Father. Shakti and Shiva. Magdalena and Yeshua.

As we heal the primal male and female archetypes, we explore intimate relationships as a massively rich resource for coming to know Self. A greater wholeness is embodied as Divine masculine and feminine aspects are fully seen and embodied. The only relationship is ultimately with Self. All are mirrors – holograms (as we ourself are) to expand consciousness. To return to Love. We have an ever expanding relationship with ourself through Being Love.

Some of us on the path of evolution have found that we have connected to our twin soul physically or etherically – as I did – and ultimately merged into Oneness. And yet, even with this wholing and healing, whether through the container of sacred relationship in the physical or rigorous inner exploration, as humans we still seek intimacy and companionship with other souls of course. So we can engage in the dance of relationship from a place of our own wholeness, freed from illusion about what “other” will bring.

homeSt Germain, through Meline Lafont says:

When being in a state of knowing that in fact all is already within you and that your companion is another expression of you on various levels, you can share, create and have wondrous moments in resonance where much creation, inspiration and Love will flow from that relationship as to where respect and freedom is pivotal. It is lingering in a sense and an awareness of the power of co-creation when you unite as one Source and bundle your energies. When all is vibrating in Love from the heart, anything is truly possible and this type of relationship is what marks the new world of being and living.

In this Golden Age, the potential being birthed is infinite. Divine co-creation. Today I send out an invitation to all men.

So many sisters are blooming, reclaiming their infinite Divine power and ancient wisdom. None of us can become whole without the healing of “other”. For you are I. I am you. Male. Female. And healing, wholing and balancing of all aspects of the Divine expression in human form is the invitation we are called to at this blessed time on earth.  Just as She is finding her expression again, human consciousness cannot evolve without the freeing of males from the illusion of false power, the devaluing of the truth of the heart; distorted sexuality and sexual expression;  the soul-less prison of material provision and consumption….

On my path and my service, I am so blessed to meet and connect with stunning goddesses across the worlds; wise women; medicine women; angels; siStars….And amongst the community of light, I am now too connecting with the most exquisite Divine males – awakened to their heart, committed to Life unflinchingly. By my side utterly. Growing up in central Scotland, with three brothers, this has been a revelation. My breath is taken away by what is mirrored as the possibilities for us all in wholeness. And these outstanding mirrors have taken me deeper into seeing of Self. Digging out further shadows of my insecurities and projections, allowing these to be held steadily in simple Presence.  Holding space for release of ancient griefs and wounds carried in every womb. And all returns to Love.

But these have been so very few. A precious trickle. A tantalising display of what is possible.

Women are in many ways leading the forefront of the Awakening now flowing unstoppably through humanity. But you are needed beloved.  Your voice. Your Presence. Your vulnerability. Your strength. All of you to show up for the ride. Heart and mind. Body and soul. Trembling and uncertain. But showing up.

And I know you are there. I know you are here with us. Perhaps just trying to find your way out, forward, through, just as I am. I feel you….We do this together.

You have some awesome wayshowers – Jeff Brown, Arjuna Ardagh and Jeff Foster for example – who wholeheartedly embrace the richness of the spirituality of now; not entrenched in rigid patriarchal doctrines but embodying the loving soft strength of Divine Father; the intuitive richness of the path of the heart,  the communion of sacred sexuality Sacred mind and sacred heart, fully embodied through the belly of Life.honour

But you are needed. Yes, you. You would not have been gifted this incarnation at this time if you didn’t possess the seed of Divine wholeness. Let it be watered by Goddess and root in the Earth. Life is calling. Will you answer? This is the time Brothers. Will you join us?

Helen serves to anchor and expand the Divine Feminine through the Way of the Heart and Light. she facilitates consultations, gatherings and global transmissions. connect on facebook or through her website.

Discernment and Love

In the journey through this life we will move and weave through many roles, many suits of clothing that we will try on. Some we will keep for most or all of our life – mother, daughter, sister. Others more fleeting.

All of them are but veils. Attachments in which we invest our energy, our need to feel safe, loved, known.

But what is our identity?

Who are we?

Who are you?

In this life, at this time, I express my soul, my divine essence – through sharing energy healing, teaching and practices. Anchoring light. Life has flowed a very strong movement in the last year into the beginnings of some of  the larger scale energy  work I am here to do. I am so blessed, profoundly honoured and expansively grateful to connect with hundreds of souls around the word in regular remote healing events. And there is much more that is to come. Seeds at this time. And my heart sings with honouring my path more.

Yet with this I notice a development that caused me a little discomfort, or more correctly, signals more opportunity for vigilance and self exploration. I do not want to have any “label” – teacher – healer – lightworker – “spiritual”. I do not want to be placed on a pedestal, however slightly. Anyone who sees light in “this one” is but experiencing a reflection. I am most certainly human! I encounter the challenges of managing ego and embodiment on a daily basis in a busy life. I do many things I don’t feel good about. I could always be kinder, softer, more patient, more tolerant and so on.  So I hold the space for me to be all that I am. All that I am “not”. It is all ok. Changing, evolving, unknowable. As I try to hold for all others.

This brings me again to the key aspect of discernment. This was a very strong teaching through the first months of this year especially for me personally and is a key lesson for many or us on a journey of expanding consciousness. A series of correspondence with a spiritual teacher who makes very particular claims as to their identity and significance shook me deeply by the mismatch between what I was meeting and what I “expected”. In time, I gained clarity, stood back and saw all the aspects of ego I was being so clearly shown.

I accepted these also as a mirror of course and practised gratitude for the teachings. By being so challenged by the discrepancies between someone supposedly so evolved and others’ faith in this person, I came to a further deepening of my understanding of the essential importance of trusting and exercising my own discernment, my own experience and truth – no matter what others say or claim; no matter how much status, significance or light someone supposedly carries. And the source of this is the Heart.

It is so very easy for us to project our own light (as well as our shadow) onto others. To seek and see in them those qualities we look for within.

Turn your gaze inwards. Ever inwards. Of course there is a valuable place for guides, teachers and mentors who will walk with us literally or metaphorically even if just for a step or two, or for lifetimes. But every teacher, every being we encounter, is simply guiding us back and down into the depths of our Infinite Heart. This is your guide, your one truth. And our learning is to move deeper and deeper into it, letting the confusion of the mind dissolve, soften, move aside. Aligning with what our heart is showing us, often through our body, no matter what “mind” may be yelling. Developing our skill to centre deeply in the intuitive Heart, to know its resonance and in discerning what is authentic and what has been hijacked and distorted by the mind, quicker than a flash..


A few days ago a graphic photo was shared on social media of two young Indian women, hanged by the men who gang raped them. The person who shared the photo – a respected spiritual teacher – spoke of his desire to inflict comparable physical suffering on the men who did this.

I was deeply affected by the image and the horror of what has happened, what happens across the planet every day. I carried the collective grief in my body for days. It is fact. Cannot be denied nor should it be. If humanity is to evolve, every such act calls to be faced with courage. It is understandable to feel anger, grief and a myriad of deep emotional responses. But the response of this male teacher also unsettled me for I recognised in it the same vibrations that caused such suffering. Yes we need to be in the world. To courageously face light and the depths of shadow and what humanity is capable of. But what do we do with this seeing and knowing? How are we with this energy? Do we direct it into hatred and retribution – simply continuing the cycle of ignorance and suffering that created such a tragedy? Consciously or unconsciously with our thoughts. Or do we acknowledge and actively transmute our probably reactive response into love; into compassion and the energy for positive evolution. We can be utterly authentic and grounded, feeling what is arising, allowing it and transmuting all into light, rather than perpetuating the flow of such damaging patterns. Expressing not sending.

My serving – like many at this time – centrally involves healing and reclaiming the divine feminine. On a grounded, embodied level, that means addressing the murder of these two women – and the many, many more who are daily raped, abused, tortured or killed. But also very much addressing the patterns in consciousness that created this. Make no mistake – those men – all men carry equal suffering from these appalling acts. The masculine and the feminine are both further wounded. I feel ancient and deep sorrow for this, I grieve for all. And I flow the energy of intention to transmute the profound misunderstandings and ignorance that perpetuates the pain.

We are all required to continually raise our understanding beyond the blindness of conditioning. To challenge any beliefs we attach to. For the sake of all humanity.

I pray that all beings awaken to their true nature, as the divine in human form and as a species we return to Oneness. For this, we practice daily seeing everything and everyone in its Divine essence now. We are Love – and behind every thought, every action, every face is Love. Our task is to see it – in others, no matter how “lost” “they” may seem, and most of all in our own selves, in our confusion, our shadow, our longing, our beauty. For we are no different. No better, no worse. We are all Love. Made from and returning to…

Helen works with healing, consciousness and light through consultations, workshops and collective events. More information on her website and facebook pages.