Tag Archives: healing

1111 Awakening through Life

holding-world

As I returned to my writing screen, it was 11.11 – a significant portal for the awakening frequencies of the Divine to be received and integrated by humanity. The 111 codes ask us to be utterly conscious of our dreams, our thoughts and our words and to ensure that our movements in the physical realms, whether word or action come from our highest expression and awareness of consciousness.

I always feel 111 and 11.11 related to new beginnings. For of course consciousness is the Creator, the beginning, the manifester. And simultaneously completely outwith any concept of time. The reality which is present in every breath is heightened – that we are given the chance to begin afresh. This, not in terms of denying exactly where we are and all the circumstances we have created to be at this precise point, but rather arising FROM every thought and action that has gone before. As every nutrient and day of gestation creates an entirely new Being in human form on the planet when a baby is born, so all our choices and seeming failures to act in the highest alignment create the perfect, optimum conditions for this deep birthing.

It is also now eight days since my mother passed from her human body.

And six since America voted for Donald Trump to be its president.

None of it unrelated.

One of the gifts of these last days at my mother’s bedside is the knowing which may previously have drifted into being more intellectual, that EVERYTHING in my experience, in my world, is interconnected. This has dropped right down into my belly. Into absolute knowing.

My mother’s transition and the profound experiences that took place towards it; the water protectors and protests at Standing Rock; uncomfortable tensions with my siblings; my deep soul love and alchemy with my partner; my children expressing challenging responses and behaviours; my ex husband not showing up fully as a father; a dear soul sister leaving the country; the political coup in Turkey and the American elections.

All of it.

Let me breathe this circle.  Sit with me here. In the centre. When we return to this still point, we feel our column of light anchoring both into Gaia’s heart and that of Source. We reclaim our infinite strength as Divine beings playing in this human movie for a few moments. From here, we can watch the dance of all that is playing out in these movies on the world stage and on the more “personal” stage of our private lives.

A tricky and essential distinction to navigate is that of witnessing and knowing this is all illusion yet not falling into spiritual bypassing. This is sold seductively in new age thinking and often can creep into us without our noticing. At the other end of the loop is getting caught in the drama of the collective and letting ourselves believe any of it is actually real. How to acknowledge and honour pain in any Being without losing sight and knowing of what is real? Can we remember that everything is created by Divine intelligence for the evolution of consciousness?

We – as embodiments of Divine Source are here as co-creators, with free will and living in form surrounded by the density of soul amnesia. This earth school journey is one to bring Divinity into form. To live it in our human-ness – our ability to FEEL intensely; to cry and dance and laugh and make love. What a magical, majestic and joyful play we are in!

Dancing this balance is an art form that requires practice till the moment our essence leaves this plane. We can never be complacent, for the cumulative weight of conditioning rains into our bones and cells each and every day. We never become immune to that but hopefully, with dedicated intention and practices, we learn to soften it, to understand it and – crucially – not to identify with it. Perhaps we may even learn to love the healthy ego structures that allow us to function as human and in community. And anything that shows up on our personal or global horizon as manifestations of that which wishes to be acknowledged and loved into harmony.

We are all in uncharted waters in these new lands. Four years on from the 2012 gateway, we have another especially heightened window through to 1.1.17 to receive and embody higher Divine frequencies. None of this can be done when our inner work and our shadow work is not addressed at ALL levels. All are equally essential. So in the face of political instability and extremes; natural “disasters” and personal experiences of loved ones choosing to leave earth or relationships dissolving, we do our work. We walk our talk.

We let go of the temptations to judge, to feel ever so subtly “right”, vindicated or superior. We accept that every being on this planet is an equal expression of the magnificence of the Divine. That is why we are required to practice our mastery through every moment of our day (and night). Use the tools that best nourish you – particular meditations; body practices; time in nature and KNOW that you are part of a soul tribe, whether you know them directly or not. We have our families of light – many on earth, many more on other stars and galaxies. Remember to sing to each other the song of our hearts. To radiate the light of our souls, thus lighting the way for all of us who find it hard to see through the shadows at times.

Let light shine upon every heart awakening us to our true nature.

And so it is.

Helen is in service to consciousness and has a particular role with the frequencies of the Cosmic Divine Feminine. Offerings come through direct consultations and personal sessions (in person or Skype globally); gatherings, events and retreats worldwide; light transmissions and writing. Please connect through facebook or her website, where you can also signup for very occasional mailings to stay informed.

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Falling into Love, I rise.

FB_IMG_1472852439400Falling into love, I rise.

Dropping  away the layers, I fall, cleansed, naked, revealed.

This love flows through me,

not “mine” to retain

nor “yours” to give,

but in our purification

and our dedication,

both,

we are called to the crucible

And to BE the crucible,

Through our union.

 

A melding of alchemies

that sparks conceptions

and evolution .

 

There is a power that ripples across the Cosmos,

emanating from the belly of Mother

and the breath of Father.

 

In declaring a whole souled “Yes!” to the Divine Power,

Grace may reveal infinitely .

She fills my chest with countless galaxies; my eyes with brilliant stars.

My skin is enlivened with the dust of God, my blood richer with the fire of Love.

It is done. It is.

FB_IMG_1466108252295

Helen serves consciousness. This appears through one to one consultations, global gatherings, light transmissions and writings. It would be a delight to connect through her site, where you can also sign up for very occasional mailings or on Facebook.

Gestating

Willow Arlenea - BIrth of a Galaxy Astarte

Willow Arlenea – Birth of a Galaxy Astarte

For nine months, from early spring of last year, I wandered as a nomad in answer to a soul call that had been gestating through this lifetime. This involved letting go of everything “external” – home, financial security, and being with my children to serve in wider, deeper and more unknown ways around the planet. The call was first to North America for a month and from there knowing only that every step was absolutely directed by the Mystery, by the Goddess, I did not know where home would manifest, nor where I would rest. I was literally taken around the planet as part of the magic and weave of Life. Hawaii, Glastonbury, Bali, USA three times, Germany, Czech Republic, Netherlands and Italy.

A seed quietly grew and whispered persistently as I was called back to be again in my lands of birth – feeling only enough in my belly to know this was the essential next step. For my personal path, my service and the Divine Feminine energetics to be alchemised and grounded in Scotland and for my soul agreements with my daughter. Nine months after that journey began.

Today I am struck that it is – again – nine months later – and at the anniversary of my earth birth – that the home that so gracefully appeared within twenty four hours of setting my intent to return – was sold. And so the next cycle beckons. One of even deeper completion – of many circles – personal and practical, familial, ancestral.

Several sittings with soul family in recent weeks has focused again on the absolute wonder and awe at the intelligence and elegance of the Divine. The countless synchronicities and interconnections that prod us, manoeuvre us and awaken us to the vastly more magnificent Cosmic play.

In the smallest of happenings – from being spontaneously guided to take a different route thus enabling a whole re-shuffle of appointments that allows a friend to have the space to be supported in her deep distress – to the grandest, some of which I have written of previously. Neither is more or less Divine, more or less inspired by the kiss of the Beloved.

We are loved constantly, fiercely, tenderly and piercingly to peel of the layers of density and disguise; to lay aside the seeming seduction of the familiar and sleepwalking through our lifetimes.

More than four human births occur on this planet every second. Every second. Yet no matter how many billions of beings come to join this earth school, the miracle of birth can never be any less wondrous. Every entrance is a pushing through safety and comfort into an absolutely new world. With love and gratitude for the Mother who nurtures creation, the Divine takes exquisite expression in order to pursue a path of evolution that can only be wrought by and through the donning of unique form birthed.

And so for every birthing and re-birthing in our human experiences. Into new love. Dissolving of friendships. The transitioning of parents. Falling away of jobs, homes and structures – all dancing and evolving into something more aligned to following our greatness. We are held in the belly of Mother, nourished by her love and overseen by Divine Source. We may wriggle and squirm. We may cry. We may emerge with a blissful half smile. But we ARE born. We always were.

Helen serves through a range of vehicles as guided – energy healing, gatherings globally, individual consultations and her writing. She would love to be connected further if you feel a resonance.  Please explore her site. You can sign up for very occasional mailings or link on facebook.

Alive to Love

feminie essence

 

 

 

 

 

How do we know when our heart is truly beating, unrestricted, unarmoured?

When do we feel our breath moving deeply into every cell?

Do we have the courage to just love, no matter what? Right here, right now. All of it.

Do I?

This journey only goes deeper. As mind and heart clarify and purify; as the body cells are washed and renewed, the choice in this breath is startlingly simple. Whatever the mind or the wounded ego parts may wish to tempt with. The choice is to love.

There is no “wrong” loving when we focus on clear intent and unconditional expression. There is no place for guarding or holding back. In fact it is the very fierceness, the relentless and the infinite tenderness of our loving that transforms the person we are with. And of course further purifies our own self.

I have written often that the path of the heart is not for the faint – hearted. It asks every last drop of courage. It asks that we are prepared to walk utterly alone with no seeming reflection of understanding or acceptance from any around us. It asks that we are willing to place EVERYTHING on  the fire. No exceptions made for our sweetest, secret dreams or our comforting life-plans. Nuh – uh.

ready to jump

Tears will come. Your chest may feel like it is ripping open. The intensity of Life – of pure Love can appear utterly devastating to the personality. Because it is ultimately. Pure Divine Love flowing through us in human form can only call us back to our true nature. Our balance and guardian is our own loving nature. The more generously and committedly we can extend this to all parts of our own self and embrace us, the more rooted our foundation from and through which to flow Divine Love.

Our aliveness never ends. Our essence is eternal and infinite. But in the precious gift of this human dance, the more we embody – fully allowing the experience of our bodies, our emotions, our sexual energy – NOT identifying with them nor being led unconsciously by them but absolutely opening to the richness of the human experience, we bring more and more of Source, Divine Love into form, expanding, expanding Life itself.

So when the heart is wide open and raw; when tears pour; when the mind spins or the body aches, in this breath celebrate that there is the gift of this lifeforce pulsing through us.

We are alive to Love.

Helen serves the expansion of light and love in many ways including global gatherings, online healing transmissions and one to one consultations internationally. Please connect through facebook , Helen’s site or sign up for an occasional newsletter.

Photo credits unknown

 

Awakened Mother

Magdalena - source George Yepes

Art – Georges Yepes

The sacred sexuality inherent in the Mother Goddess archetype is one of the most potent aspects of femininity being reawakened – or more accurately – reclaimed in this time. She – as mother –love- nurturer has been separated from the potency of the rich alchemical fire of eroticism for many, many generations. The patriarchal forces knew that this separation was a most effective way to “castrate” her; to neutralise the infinite fires pouring through Her in form.

As women today, we have the opportunity in safety and in Sacred circle and in the sanctuary of our own body space to reclaim our vehicles – every aspect of our physicality and sexuality. To touch every membrane, every cell and is doing so as a touch of pure unconditional love, to free the memories, thought patterns, wounds and sheer illumination contained in each.

Every being in human form came through a mother. Whether we have no conscious memory or experience of her, whatever our relationship has been or has not been she is the archetypal birther and destroyer; the nurturer and the Goddess. She holds us in our pain, rocks us tenderly, offers her mother’s milk.

And at her core, from her belly, is the incandescent, shimmering, fiery power of pure Shakti. The creative force, that which fertilises all into form. So many myths have been forged – of harlot- whore or ice maiden. So many distortions of the feminine cut off from the sexual- spiritual energy that literally is her beating heart, her pulsing rhythm.

Now sister, we call US home. All parts. No longer in any form of separation, of competition or judgement – all false structures designed to further separate and disempower the feminine.

Can we hold the sagging skin like an adoring lover?

Can we caress the mounds of flesh on our belly?

Tenderly kiss the scars on our hands that have tended so many? The wrinkles on our brow that mirror our never ending care?

Can we open our womb space to the purification of the fire? And dance as all burns?

Naked and as carefree as the young girl we once were;

as sensuously deliciously alive as the vibrant women we grew into;

embodying the wisdom of all grandmothers.

Beloved mothers, daughters, sisters, on this day I kneel on our Mother. I place my head on our flesh, her soil breathing gratitude with every breath. I honour Her. I honour you Beloved Sisters.

I honour you  Beloved Brothers. The endless sky that holds our earthly mother. I thank you for the gifts of this call home. Our returning, our purification, our fearless reclaiming of all of ourselves as Love. And we hold our hands to you, our partners on this dance, inviting you into the fire. All returning in to balance through the surrender to the fire.

Kaya ashee  aya mai te’y.

S’y koya tara ne ka

Meya ashee kara ne’y te’y

Se’y as a koh

Helen supports the expansion of light and anchoring of Divine Feminine frequencies in many ways including international gatherings, online events and light transmissions, one to one consultations and writing.  Connect with Helen through her site or facebook and sign up for an occasional  newsletter.

 

 

Opening Doors

 

Lauren Kristin - love is sitting in silence and feeling the other

Image  Lauren Kirstin

A favourite family memory is of how  the toy pram I loved to push around contained not a doll but books. Since I was a young girl I knew that I was on earth to write a (at least one) book. Fascinating that only at this stage in my life is that first book  to come to physical form. This absolute knowing of this call was prior to any sense of conscious awakening to the greater wonder of life and a path in service to the Divine.

The avenue of writing is a door that has been patiently held open for me since childhood, awaiting as much of me that I choose to bring through it. And other key gateways have one after another come into view – or I have found myself stepping through.

I spent many hours as a girl in my own company, quiet and thoughtful and unsure of this place I found myself in. Often reading and writing or being in nature. I was actually being deeply prepared energetically and vibrationally, but this did not come to my knowing until decades later. Church left me bored and deadened and my only calling to anything “spiritual” were daydreams about being a nun like my beloved aunt  with whom I always had a close connection.

I  was little in my body actually and certainly took upon myself beliefs that I was not athletic, strong, vigorous or courageous in my physicality. I remained largely in my consciousness and elsewhere, dancing dimensions, awash at a physical level in the vibrations of the conditioning of family and culture which felt so “alien” to my essence as  a Cosmic being. Born under Leo I also carried a deep shyness as well as wild passion and courage and a strong call to lead.

My blogs are always inspired by my journey and my most intimate experiences and learnings. For several years I have been travelling internationally as guided, offering events, retreats and gatherings. My work is entirely guided by Spirit and my highest aspects so it is very intuitive and unstructured. It asks that I show up one hundred per cent, aligned, present and in trust – with each being who has felt a call to co create and show up. In this alignment there is – as much as possible – no “personal”, only trust and surrender to the Divine. But of course I am human and egoic as well as Divine – as are we all – so we are  present and relating to consciousness through the degree to which in any moment we are in these filters and the degree to which  we are capable of aligning with highest level of pure consciousness, One mind, One heart. If that is our choice.

After a huge nine month journey of creation, expansion, loving, letting go, moving, resting and retreating, my focus since the September Equinox gateway, which I experienced in Giza, Egypt, through the dark womb of winter and onwards, is deeply on inner  work and letting all notions around forms of expression dissolve. My attention is particularly with healing core wounds between the masculine and feminine which reside unresolved in my being, and in the collective consciousness. This is a critical key in the next stage of both my personal growth and wholeness and service, as well as a service to Sacred union manifesting and being accessible to all on earth. Whilst I have been deeply committed and actively working with all aspects of my self for twenty years, my being is now insistent on a deep, deep dive and the fuller embodiment that is possible.

An essential approach in this shadow work is fully turning towards that which shows up – and loving it in wholeness as the Divine speaking to the Divine. At the heart of this for my soul, the core wounds relate to those between the masculine and feminine and the energies that have been distorted in endeavours to control and stifle sexuality in the collective.

It has been brought to my awareness that, due to the astrological alignments at my birth, part of my role is to manifest the most private, personal and sensitive parts of my soul publicly, in the world. Not an easy calling for any of us. I place great value on authenticity and integrity in all my work. And in honesty. This does not come without a price.

In earth incarnations , I have lineages in the Isis and Magdalene mystery schools; as a Priestess of the Moon; in the highest temples of Atlantis and, very close to my heart resonance, in Lemuria. This is relevant in that, through these experiences, amongst others, I have deep cellular knowledge and memories of many things (we all do) and part of those skills, teachings and gifts are in sacred sexuality as a pathway to the Divine.

In the deeper and freer engagement with my fullness in form, it is my realization now that – with whatever openings, deepening and expansions I have been involved in personally over a number of years, and in my sharing through my writing, I  have not expressed “this aspect” of me publicly through my work and writing. My deep, alive Sacred sexuality.

I fully appreciate that many of us don’t discuss our sexual selves openly. The oppressive weight of conditioning when it comes to sexuality is deadening. Raised a Catholic in the west of Scotland, I can assure you that tantric practices and sexual bliss were not anywhere to be found on the curriculum. (Think martyrdom, repression and sex only in marriage and for the sole purpose of baby making!) And as a young woman who was pregnant and unmarried at age seventeen, I again tasted these ancient distortions and projections first hand.  I was also struck by the level of hypocrisy and repressiveness around sexuality in America in the time I spent there last year. Scotland is not particularly liberal but seems somewhat more honest and real in relation to our bodies and the earthiness and reality of our sexual selves.

Just as our relationship with the Divine is deeply intimate yet utterly Universal, our sexuality is a deliciously unique expression of this relationship – and of our relationship with being in this life and form. But as spirituality has been attempted to be strangled and controlled through most orthodox religion, so has sexuality been dragged behind closed doors, repressed, hidden and painted with fragrances of shame to keep it deeply buried and “private”.

Particularly for women today, to reclaim our bodies, energy and power as Sacred sexual beings also means facing and healing the many generations of pain we have experienced  – from rape, torture and death to emotional and mental abuse. Whether as temple priestesses or young woman of the village; as wife, daughter, mother and lover. Beloved Sisters I bow to you for your depth of courage in loving so fiercely, so tenderly; in accepting this call to heal now. And Beloved Brothers I honour you also for your massive bravery, in opening to unknown and uncharted ways; for slowly but surely creating spaces of safety for the healing of your Beloved ones and for yourselves. As Claire Zammit articulated perfectly in her discussion of “Feminine Power” “together we have the power to participate in creating the future of relationships and the highest level of intimate relationship possible in history.” That is a truly huge and inspiring consideration.

In my own opening of deep inner doors, I am compelled to open this door, here, “publicly”. To declare my willingness to bring all parts of this one to expression. In opening this door to sharing more of such an integral part of my essence and humanity, it is a gift to my own wholeness and in this, it is my prayer that these reflections may – if it is to be – gently nudge open a door welcoming our greater realization.

If it’s not for you, perfect. I can – as I often state – only write that which I am called and guided to (whether the “I” likes it or not). Displaying vulnerability too is a massive gift – to ourselves and to all. It speaks of a foundational trust in the benevolence of Life itself IF we are moved to show this vulnerability without egoic agenda and simply in naked truth. (No pun intended). We carry out this journey as only each of us can, directed by our souls, whether we listen and align or not. But we do it together as expressions of the one force that is all. Love.

And one of the richest and most potent gifts and purposes of choosing to incarnate in human form is to have a body that can channel, move and share life force. That can create and give birth to biological life itself. That can create bliss, union and transformations of consciousness through the conscious application of sexual energy. We can touch. We  feel the tingle of warm skin alive to our caress. The pungent aromas of sweat, the salty taste of tears. We can move body and soul through the enlivening and directing of shakti and sexual energy.

As the Feminine reclaims her voice and her power, she also reclaims her body and sexuality. And she does it in partnership with the masculine. As he is invited to reconnect to his vulnerability, to his emotional core; to his true sensual and sexual nature and  to the softness in his strength, together we can explore the worlds of joy, depth, healing, power and transformation available through being Spirit in very human form. Each one of us – whatever gender, whatever sexual preferences, has this invitation and capacity first and above all with our own self, our own energies and body. Then to further this growth as can only be done in direct, embodied intimacy with other beings. Sexual,  emotional, mental and physical beings, blessed with all the gifts, challenges and sensuous experiences of having this particular form.

So with all my years of cutting through and shaking off these binds, of breathing more deeply, moving more freely – I am stepping through another door. My voice may just echo that vibration within you, as within many sisters at this time  who are bursting into far deeper, freer expression. And with the brothers who are so empty from the meaningless ideas of sexual conquest and performance and the lack of authentic models of emotional balance and maturity, awakening to spiritually fulfilling sexual intimacy as an expression of all that we are.

The limitless love of the returning feminine requires a deeply safe container and this is the Divine masculine presence which each of us – whatever gender – is called to cultivate. The feminine in turns brings the deepest love and nurturing to the strength and force of the masculine aspects, receiving him fully, with compassion bathing any  bruisedness, softening rigidity and opening his Sacred heartspace.

The only way I can move into and through my present work is through this healing and harmonizing taking place through my beloved body and in direct, authentic and intimate relationship – with myself and others. To the degree that each one of us as souls-in-body increases our capacity to be and express Divine Love in wholeness, we bless our world with that joyous alignment and vibrational increase in consciousness.

I invite us to lean in to a deeper intimacy and to get naked together.

I love you.

Helen is a love and light worker, energy healer and writer serving consciousness. She offers  worldwide events, retreats and one to one sessions as well as her writings. If you are interested in knowing more, or in details of the 2016 programme as available please see her site, fb or sign up for an occasional newsletter.

 

Harvest Ode

 

journey

There is a “new” way that is the most ancient way of all.

There is a call that began as an echo, a pull, a murmur

that now is a storm, gathering force and momentum

as it moves across the seas, as does my body

like an approaching hurricane,

yet welcomed, welcomed, in my trembling.

 

The approaching storm that threatens to scoop me up,

break me into thousands of indistinguishable pieces

and spit me out again , onto the waiting, breathing soil.

 

The leaves of autumn may blow and whirl around the remnants

burying some in damp soils, some in shadowy hollows,

creating new shapes and sculptural forms

that in the next breeze will be gone.

 

For nothing can be held.

Nothing can withstand this storm.

Let all disintegrate in Love.

Every. Last. Piece.

 

Especially those wants that “I” like

That give me joy

comfort

security

safety

 

Oh yes, She rasps in my ear, in my belly

louder now, undeniable

Give it all to me

give it all to me.

 

Get yourself down

lower than low,

writhing in the dirt, the damp

smelling the moist fecundity with no knowledge of what may show its face in the next spring blooming.

 

Again and again the seeds are nourished and germinated.

The gardener offers His patience, his Presence his ever careful tending

And Life takes care of the rest.

 

 

Copyright Helen Quail    4.11.15

Helen can be contacted through her website or facebook for individual consultations and group gatherings globally.