Tag Archives: infinite

Loving and Fear


“What do I fear most in this life?” I ask my subconscious. The answer comes – it is the lie.

The lie that lays behind the half-truth, the closed eyes. The lie that closes doors rather than opening them.

What I fear most in this life is the lie that causes decay and rot. A fermenting of unspoken words. A half-light of awareness.

What I fear most is the dark that comes from this lie. I do not fear the pure dark; the blackness of night nor the void space that births stars. Rather I fear our turning away from it – light or dark. The veil we place over our eyes and ears when we turn from truth. The truth that is found in both the dark and the light as two expressions of the One.

I used to tremble at the weak spots in my psyche that whine for safety and sameness. I see now that I claim them, more and more with each day. And in my claiming I am loving them. Perhaps more true is that I may be afraid of my UNseeing of them. That is what gives me true discomfort. And yet I know that, the deeper and more unconditionally I love all places in self or “other”, all that has been hidden and shamed will gently reveal in Divine readiness. In truth I do not fear the asleep consciousness in us all. It is an essential foundation for our functioning.

What I fear most is the vastness of my light, the magnitude of Being. The astounding, incomprehensible power of Divine essence that can bring only the death of all that is false. But who is this “I” who feels the discomfort? It is but the small self. The social self, who clings to fragments of life rafts of identity.

There is a place that can show in my soul that worries that I will not have the courage when all is stripped away to stand bare, weeping, wounded and free from every label, every strip of identification. To stand in my infinite stature as the magnficent Being and ambassador of light that I am. And, as I remember, again and again, not to believe the story of the fear, I caress those places – whether in psyche or soul – with the softest balm of love, letting them be exactly as they are.

Will I hold this head clear, easy and strong? Or crumble to the earth in shame? Will I hold humility in my cells equally to the sovereignty and realization?

The “I” that is, was and always shall be knows no fear. For “I” am love. Of love. Inseparable, vast and impenetrable.

Fear is also the birthing of Universes from the belly of Source and Her curiosity to see life expand and evolve through the contrast of duality. It is the necessary mirror to the brilliance of Divine love. There can only be fear prevailing where we turn away from our own darkness. As lovingness fills our very DNA, deeper and deeper, the ocean holds and bathes every expression and shade of our Beingness. The deeper we are called, the free-er we can rise.

There is only fear where Love is not. Love can go to any place – if it is invited. Like the angels! But first there must be a call – spoken or unspoken. A deep – soul–deep – invitation that no matter what, above all, is love. A willingness to meet the fire and the heart-shattering tenderness both. To receive it into our deepest recesses, squirming at the alchemy with our pains. And to offer our human forms as vehicles and containers for infinite love.


What is it I fear most in this life, for nothing can kill me, I am eternal? Life is eternal. I am born and never die. Only forms change. And through each form, a myriad and multitude of galaxies of experience; of touches and tears; agony and joys.

When I return home to love there is no fear. As I breathe it in, Universal, unending and as vast as I can conceive and taste, fear is cradled and comforted as a newborn baby. All softens in unlimited tenderness. The hard edges of anxiety or terror are met with the waves of the ocean which washes them clean. Fear and love take hands and dance, laughing at the pure joy of innocence and the Divine design. It is the ocean of limitless love that carries the wave of panic. Softens it, meeting it until it dissolves in a billion bubbles, indistinguishable from any droplet in the sea.

And so our prayers for the waters are also our embracing of fears. The most ancient, primal and rudimentary of fears. I CAN survive. I CAN Live – and walk upon this blue green planet in strength and peace and harmony with my brothers and sisters.

I see you fear. I look on you with unflinching loving. I see the shadows that lurk in you. The unspoken ones. The buried ones. And I vow not to deny you nor turn in shame. You are the messenger of the Divine calling me closer, deeper.

In understanding your true essence and staying present with your gifts, I am born. And yet not born, for I always was. Always existing. Ever present as Love and Truth.


Helen Quail serves love through any many vehicles – direct consultations and healing sessions, in person or via Skype; gatherings, events and retreats globally; light transmissions and writing. You are so welcome to connect and find out more about her offerings via facebook or her site, where you can also sign up for very occasional mailings.



Love is Infinite

Love is infinite. Love is kind, yet it is also ruthless. Its mercy lies in its’ flowing from the Divine Sacred Heart which holds the wisdom of the all.

In today’s cultures there is a great predilection to glamourize one way of being over another; one path; one key; one size fits all. Yet we are all absolutely unique expressions of Divinity, forming and reforming across time in an endless exploring of Oneness and expansion. And so there can be no “one size fits all”. There can however be one Universal guide and that – beloveds – is the Sacred Heart.

The journey – if there is one – is in purification of both heart and mind – so that this deep still voice can be heard both with clarity and without distortion. It is so easy for the human mind to sabotage and distort anything that it encounters, until it has been through the layers of purification. The fires of Truth. And even then my loves, there is always vigilance.

Whose voice is this that speaks? Soul or mind?

And so we guide you to a practice of becoming. Through the body and through the Sacred Heart.

Take your breath to the centre of your being.

Take your Presence to the centre of your vast heart chamber.

In this place you find an endless opening of space. Of luminous Presence. White light perhaps – or you may encounter it in another form.

In the centre you see an intricately decorated throne. Place yourself upon this regal throne. Observe this Being, your Higher Self. Notice what you look like. How are you are clothed? What are your movements like? Vividly engage your senses. Are there intoxicating fragrances? It there silence of any vibration of sound? A low hum or other notes?

As you sit, merge with the frequency of this sanctified chamber.

Dissolve into this space. Do not just witness it, or feel it. Dissolve into, become it, be it, Merge utterly with the infinite chamber of the heart.

Know yourself dear one.

Just be in this space for as long as you like. Be open to the deepest truths arising through the Sacred Heart.

And when it feels time to bring this gently to a close. Be aware of yourself AS this.

Carry this cellular recognition, this Divine quality into each of your movements and encounters in your day.

Breathe deeply. Love is Infinite.

With love  Helen x

Where the heart is, that is where the Temple and its’ treasures are – Yeshua

Helen contributes to the anchoring and expansion of Light through groups, individual consultations and global transmissions as well as her words. Connect through her website or facebook. ❤

i am the light