I am drawn to share with you my recent experience of fasting which has been revelatory on many levels and deeply positive. Of course these are uniquely personal but perhaps will resonate and assist in some way. I was touched and amazed at the synchronicity as I decided to fast, of many soul family also doing so and the circle we hold for one another is ever present.
I had the idea to fast perhaps for a day, then maybe three prior to my forthcoming travels, but it became obvious in one moment that I was to go into fast in in alignment with the last full moon and also synching in with the fast of soul family also. They were fasting for seven days, which they had done previously just a few weeks ago. I believed this to be most likely way beyond something I would attempt. All perfectly orchestrated of course, so I had no time to pre-plan or think in depth, but simply flowed. I had witnessed a lessened appetite for a long time. Paradoxically I found I tended to overeat at times as I was not eating in alignment with natural hunger.
In my early twenties I had – like many young women – a period of issues with food and weight control – so I am cautious about how I move with any food “regime”, wary of control or prescriptive practices that only serve to dissociate from the rhythms of my body and Being. So my intent was very much to listen, to watch and to do what truly felt aligned for my Being in this now. The purpose was very much to prepare my physical vessel to hold higher light and new templates for the forthcoming light work and journey to US/Hawaii which I know is hugely significant.
And how fascinating and nurturing it was. Moment to moment.
I entered with no set “agenda” of time. I had three days shown to me but previously I had only fasted once for 36 hours so I aimed to have no expectations and truly align with my body and Being. My first fast was done in very supportive circumstances, on retreat, in silence, able to rest and flow as required On that fast I felt very weak, extremely slowed down and quite shaky. Nevertheless I could feel how good it was for all of me and felt motivated to fast on a weekly basis but was deterred at the reality of combining with family life and cooking for four children daily.
I found this a completely different experience and much easier than might be expected.One that my body truly embraced. Also that I went much deeper. The first day especially was very interesting in watching the mental patterns and habitual impulses to just reach out and put something in my mouth. And the impulse towards food felt very light and superficial actually. I observed and experienced hunger – which was not acute – seeing how it comes and goes. I witnessed the programming and conditioning more clearly than ever. And the layers of emotional patterns interwoven with food. I felt good, bright and really energised. Not cold or shaky. I experienced very little in the way of physical detox nor hunger discomfort.
In my first fast I thought a lot about food and what I would eat! This time not so at all. Another releasing of attachments. I saw that my body welcomed the fast. I needed to eat much less than I might have believed.
From the day before full moon I had a three day period of intense emotional releasing. It was very educational to watch this when not eating – and the impulses to self comfort and soothe through food. Being asked to be with the emptiness and the pain fully.
And also observing what it is to remove “food” from one’s day…how much is structured around it and the empty space that comes in when it is not there.
For three days I had water and herbal teas only. And what appreciation grows for such simple pleasures, and the exquisiteness of cool fresh water. I found the second two nights I experienced great vibration through my body and didn’t sleep well. Extremely lucid dreams. And on night three strong womb clearing.
On waking Day 3 and 4 I was shaky and hot. The waves of heat surprised me as I tend to coldness, especially when not eating much but clearly there was intense releasing. Day 3 I was guided to first of all have lemon juice and hot water and then I was fine. Day four I knew my body needed something more grounding. The shaking was more extreme and uncomfortable. And I had a few spells of feeling overcome. I knew the experience should not be an ordeal and to honour what my body was revealing.
I only needed literally a mouthful – an oatcake and nut butter – to feel well. Not hungry but re-integrating. I had a wonderful supportive massage and with this realized I had not been so in my body. Also that I needed to be still, quiet and inward and to eat another snack to ground in. In flowed sadness, very different from the earlier intense releases – both heavy and light at the same time, and very ancient. I watched and felt it quietly and the call to deeper self love and compassion.
A long spell of self healing led me to follow guidance to eat something again grounding in the evening. Not that I was even hungry but it felt nourishing to my body. And brought me more to Earth. I noticed very much that part of this sadness was the call to come into the physical density. Timeless, without end. And my resistance to this…
Deeper release came – of low, negative web patterns and rage…into pure joy and peace later through facilitating my light group.
I slept noticeably better and had no expectations as to whether I would continue having eaten something. In fact I just went with the flow and my body wanted little. Day 5 and 6 I had a small amount of fresh juice at some point in the afternoon when my body asked, then a small, nutritious meal later which tasted Divine and so nourishing.
I watched the thoughts that said I am forever changed in my relationship to food, then laughed as a jar of marshmallows in the kitchen cupboard almost immediately caught my attention, making me smile at how quickly the ego can attach onto any belief.
The energetic, emotional and spiritual processes over these days were most fascinating for me. When the body was quiet, meditation was indeed effortless. The first day especially I wanted only to be looking inward, deeper and deeper. The inflows of energies were huge throughout and I was more acutely aware of the vibratory resonance throughout my cells and light body. I truly experienced myself more completely as light and vibration. I am so grateful for the circle that came together with soul family and connected daily for three days supporting our initiations, further light activations and unique yet wholly inter-connected journeys.
Most wonderful of all were the Himalayan salt baths which I had most days. I moved out of the hologram and though dimensions, dissolving, traveling. Day four I awoke to visual phenomena. Not hallucinations as such, just shifting perceptions.
I felt into the space inside –not in my “belly” but in my whole Being. Saw how much “I” can try to fill the space, can be fearful of it. The void….that can feel like such sadness and emptiness but also unlimited pure Source field. And how this feels much more aligned and natural than the many ways I – and many of us can disassociate, numb out and attempt to “fill” ourselves.
Kundalini activations linked into burning and constriction in the spine which continues after the fast. Yoga as always helps. Though my energy was great, I feel more strength now too having taken in some food.
I am being guided already to do another fast soon. With more of a focus on physical clearing. That this was a “warm up”… 😉 Our guides are so smart. I would have been amazed to think I could have done what I did so relatively easily. I also feel much more aligned to eating truly with my own flow. I didn’t have the luxury of clear and free space to support the flow of my Being which would be ideal yet still I was amazed to watch how it unfolded, how easy it was in many ways and how supported I felt.
At this point I feel – know – I am permanently changed. In terms of mental programming and emotional responses, physical wellbeing and balance and most certainly in terms of my vibrational frequency and capacity to embody light. I have a deeper understanding of how to listen to what my Being actually requires and to pay attention to what is story or fear based programming.
At the core for me requires to be the feminine path, of listening, softness, flow. Not pushing and also watching closely the subtle ways ego can come in and the many ways the mental programmes can attempt to divert and hold us. Whilst at the same time holding great strength and focus. So I will listen, feel and honour as best as I can, ever deeper. Loving this Being. Loving the opportunity to be in a body on this wonderful planet. Loving the circles of Life that hold us all infinitely as we weave and dance.