Tag Archives: life

Circles of transition

moon shasta redding real estate

Life has had me intensely in Her grip in past weeks. As for many of us, it seems. Huge transitions have been in play in all levels of my world, much of which remain quiet, integrating within.  And I have come to realise that this is equally the intensity that is moving in the collective as polarities in consciousness actually are pulled together to explode into what is true.

It has been a time of the circle. Completions and beginnings both interweave and overlay; one and the same. Timelines merge. The layers opening in recent times across so many levels have called for every bit of my energy and sometimes more.  On the third day of landing in California, dissolution happened in a vivid way. What seemed almost insanely intense, I slowly came to sense was not only (or even) personal. Of course, I had been under immense stress and pressure – relocating my family five thousand miles and much more – but I came to hear and feel of soul family equally cracking, weeping, dissolving, immobilised with exhaustion with striking power.  In this, I am grateful for the reminding that we are ever and always droplets in a moving, breathing, shifting ocean, each both drop and ocean, which brings some gentle comfort to the burning soul and aching body.

I find the invitation ever more vivid to be fully present to exactly what is – the raging; the holy fire; the inability to summon energy to function; the fury, despair, tenderness, quaking vulnerability, and always, always pulsing silently or loudly, – Love. Now I am beginning to drop tendrils into the Californian soil, to exhale, to soften into this more deeply. I feel my soul dropping deeper into my physicality, many aspects of my Self aligning. The threads that weave the invisible sanctuary in which Being can thrive are mysterious and many.

In these past days, the moon rose in her fullness over Mount Shasta. In Capricorn, she heralds a time of decision making; decisions that bring us closer to who we are and anchor our essence in the material plane in how we live and act. I have also very much been feeling the feminine flow of gentleness and softness, amplified by the Sacred mountain, even in her unrelenting transformative potency. The Mother sings her embrace of Sacred cadence simultaneously as we are lifted to make real life-directing decisions and to act upon them. The balance of the masculine and feminine feels more rooted in life than ever before.

I am but a “newcomer” in this life to living in the embrace of the mountain, with aeons of learning to rediscover and forge anew. In this apprenticing, I observe in one day the movements between softest Grace and fierce fire. Opening up all the way to exactly what is showing up here and now, however discomfiting, opens us – parts of us we know well – to devastation. What feels like devastation can open in a breath. And what remains? What is beneath and around; caressing, whispering and wrapping its unyielding arms around all? The more fully one can BE right here, – without restriction, without the cloud of story, – the torrent of the Cosmos can wash away more stones, more dust, more veils of attachment to identity or belief.

What is left, is Life itself, without interpretation and the film of understanding.  Indescribable, indefinable beauty.  Direct. Alive. Without limit.

Dying and being reborn we are. Infinitely.

Helen offers one to one sessions globally. Explore more and book at www.helenquail.com or facebook. The next cycle of events will come to fruition and be posted on her site in due course.

 

 

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Mother of all

httpceliwin.deviantart.com

celiwindevaintart.com

Divine Mother,

Mother of all form

Blessed be your expression through every mother on this planet. Every human being in form has been birthed from a mother, whether we have never known their form or however our relationship has unfolded.

May the infinite bonds of loving nurturing be healed and strengthened in the heart and cells of every Being. May both mother and father come in to wholeness in loving nurturing protection.

I offer infinite gratitude to my mother in this life, I honour your strength, sacrifices, love and kindness;
to each of my five children who are my greatest, fiercest teachers; to the biological mother of my Ethiopian daughter – I bow to you and thank you for the honour of being guardian of this soul ~ our Hearts are One;
to the mother who helped caretake my oldest daughter since she was six years old, an angel who chose to serve by taking a form that requires lifelong care;
to my grandmothers and their grandmothers, the generations upon generations of wisdom keepers, I bow.

I am feeling all the Sisters who inspire me; whom I love; who change the world and beyond; whom I have held close and those I have never met in the flesh but who reside deep in my heart. Whether you see these words or not, we feel each other.
 
I think of all the women whose daily lives are a struggle in grinding poverty, feeding and caring for children, holding families and communities together under the most testing of circumstances. I feel the young warrioresses roaring against the machine, eyes unwavering from truth. I feel the grandmothers steeped in wisdom sitting on the earth listening and singing their prayers. I feel the mountains and stars and oceans dancing with us.
Mothers, daughters, sisters, lovers. Goddesses, maidens, crones. We all chose to be part of this spectacular exploration here on planet earth.
 
To all the brave, beautiful, fierce and tender women that hold and create Life – in our wombs, through our hands and our hearts, I bow to you. We are interwoven across and through everything.
Love everyone, anyway, as much as possible. Love wholly, completely and fearlessly, in the sweet short precious moments we are privileged to share with one another. 
This is what Life is, what permeates everything, whether we believe we are alone or have beloveds we can pull close and caress. This is the fire and air that fills us.
Be bold and tender; fierce and utterly vulnerable; be You; shakti soaked, earth shaking; deep, dark and blinding light; unafraid of our vastness. Celebrating Her presence in us all.

Creating new paradigms around mothering is at the heart of my soul’s mission. As this touches every being on this planet, it is a path that demands all and that brings forth the most ancient patterns.

Each day – not just “Mother’s Day”, may we pause in our breath, in our hearts, inviting the full expression of the Divine Feminine to move through our beings and into Gaia, her grids of light and beyond. May She do so in balance and union with the all encompassing Loving Presence of Divine Father.

And so it is.
And so it shall be.

 

Helen offers herself in service to Life through one to one meetings, group gatherings, global events and activations. Connect at facebook or her site.

Grace and Desire

 

Joma Sipe - LUMINE STELLARUM 2015 light of the stars

Artist – Joma Sipe

There is a dance at the heart of every awakening Being. Of the eternal longing to KNOW and BE the fullness of our absolute Divinity – in form. And the fear and aching grief of the countless times we have felt that we have fallen short of the immeasurable.

As I ponder deeply into this well once more with Beloved souls, I witness the voice within that still – and always – speaks to being not enough. The hallmark of ego – not good enough; there is always something or some place that is better. Something to strive for (and therefore some failing in that there is always a place to reach for).

I have hugely more compassion and love for this expression of self that needs to be heard. I understand her somewhat more, her voice so very familiar. Indeed the voice that led and shaped my life for the first decades. I am again and again practising calling her and all her pain into the unconditional embrace of Love. Perhaps this will be a lifelong embrace.

And as I slow and breathe bigger, She is Here. She who has no name, no identity. Indeed no voice as Her voice is all voices. She is the stars. She is the blackness that absorbs everything. She is the magnitude of the Earth, Her soft, moist fecundity merging with any sense of this body.

Longing and longed for re-member into what Is, always.

Helen is honoured to serve through one to one consultations in person and globally. A programme of events for 2018 is currently germinating. You can sign up for occasional mailings and find out more about her work at her site, also about to be reconstructed.  Or connect on facebook.

Authentic Being

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Mount Shasta in early Spring

Authenticity is more and more at the core of what is thirsted for – in every aspect of this One and all it encounters. As the human collective stumbles through more gateways of activation – astrologically, deep cleansing in Gaia and political tensions –  the dances of the Cosmos are never far from awareness. Yet, as we open to the limitlessness of our true nature as timeless and multi dimensional Beings, our purpose right now, in human form is to bring All into embodiment, in this Now.

When heart and mind blast open through the veils of illusion and we awaken to Truth, there are infinite paths which can call to our passion. There can be a tremendous long-overlooked thirst revealed which demands to be met, yet holds many false avenues for a soul that may be still immature and ungrounded in the Being. The person(a) can still so easily take charge, simply clothed in apparently more appealing garments. For many of us there may be a period of months or many years where our lust for all things “spiritual” may become all consuming. This can simply shape to be another escape from reality itself; from the bliss and agony of tasting, of knowing, Truth. Further, it is so very easy to be pulled into an idea of being more evolved/spiritual/awake than family/friends/neighbour/ the bus driver and this is one of the sticky and subtle ways ego simply morphs. To the extent that we identify with ANY role and give that any value, we are invested in egoic self.

Whether we create circumstances of misery and tragedy or of abundance, we are continually emanating in tandem with the formless That which evolves All. There is omnipresent wordless communion. Nothing is unseen. Not our darkest thoughts, most shamed places. Nor our kindest actions. We exist in the holograph of the multiverse, continually vibrating between formless and form. Life is watching, breathing, stretching and simultaneously just IS.

One of the ironies of Life as a human is that we believe what we believe, in that moment! Whatever our state of consciousness, that is our “reality”. Until we know different. And it is those very thoughtforms that create what we experience before us. Each story that we crack through drops us in greater unknowingness. And the more whole-souled our surrender to the Infinite the greater the dissolution of what we have recognised as “life”. Everything that is not reality must die, again and again.

We must move through many layers of purification and initiation in order to strip away the personal, the distorted and the false emotion to even begin to taste Truth. And yet, and yet…it was always Here. It is always available. It never left. We just placed awareness elsewhere.

As we taste the Truth of Being, indescribable, inexpressible consciousness, ANYTHING that puts language or form to that is immediately a limitation. No matter how poetic or magnificent. It still has mind and therefore concept. Rather than Is. The deepest passion running through all great artistic endeavour could be said to be this call to express the inexpressible through creative energy.

“Whatever you have understood you are not. Spit it all out. Whatever you understand is not the truth. Throw it overboard. Do not try to catch hold of any concepts and cling to them. Don’t employ any words, but look at yourself as you are. Throw away every thought, every experience, everything that happens after the consciousness, the beingness comes…

Before the beingness was there, look at that, be in that state. Do not get lost in words and thoughts and ideas. Do not crave for mind knowledge and concepts in the name of spirituality. Anything that is seen and interpreted by the mind is only an appearance in consciousness, and, therefore, cannot be true. “ Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj.

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Love is everywhere

Our truest compass lies in the silence, with the awakening Divine heart. This is not the emotional heart but the Sacred Heart , the Christed centre of Love that resides in every Being. And this Heart calls forth and guides both the purification of mind and the essential opening and landing in the belly. Spiritual evolution is not about becoming more complex but actually about profound simplifying.  As the beating heart, we expand into the Infinite that IS, then breathe All That Is into and through this form, through Presence, creating, word and deed.

Each pathway of remembering and unforming-in-form is unique, with both jewels and pitfalls. No other can judge or appreciate how the unrepeatable expression of essence in form that is each One is called to wholeness and to the evolution of All. Is the butterfly that takes longer to hatch from the chrysalis any more or less than its fellow butterflies? Any more or less deserving of existing as a perfect expression of the Divine than a human, a waterfall, a star?

My heart and soul show me that the REAL core of coming to this particular planet lies in embodying on earth; not to transcend, but to awaken and bring every molecule of awakened Presence into body and action. The prevalent models of spirituality have long been patriarchal and the predominant model is one of transcendence, where we are called UP and OUT of our bodies and this earth realm. As the Divine Feminine returns to a freshly evolved balance, we can awaken to limitless Being AND be fully feeling, grounded and bloodied intuitive and sensory Beings with an umbilical cord to the pulse of Gaia and the Cosmos and our third eye firmly pressed to the Creator.

We practice not flinching to the agony but melting into it. No different than dissolving into the bliss. All of it is in our cells, our DNA, our non physical essence. We did not incarnate to BE anything, nor to become. We Are This. And That is part of the great Cosmic joke. We have nothing to prove, nor earn. Nothing to redeem. Nothing is real. And everything Is. Let us turn our nakedness to the skies and lay it upon the moist earth. All Is.

Helen serves consciousness however it calls. This may take the form of gatherings or retreats globally often at powerful Sacred locations; one to one sessions; groups and teaching; light transmissions; writing and being a mother and human on the planet. Please explore her site where you book a session and can sign up for very occasional mailings. You are also very welcome to connect on facebook.

 

 

Heart flow

surrender-in-flow

As I rest in heart-crushing sadness, it is the ancient sadness of witnessing – of FEELING – a fellow soul choose fear instead of love; limitation instead of infinity; illusion instead of truth. My heart truly breaks to feel the asleepness, the loss. It is akin to being behind a glass window trying to communicate to a prisoner. So very much that cannot be heard, understood or communicated.

I accept this Being as a form before me, no different to “I”, mirroring aspects of Source incarnate. I get it. So the sadness over “him” is sadness over all the places and lifetimes where my “I” chose to stay hidden in the false safety of the ego. Every where I can still do so. There is a particular poignancy as this is someone I have loved deeply, over many years. But if true love is about anything it is about letting be. Letting the Beloved be exactly who they are. No matter if our soul cries at what is possible but remains unopened. There is great beauty in the tenderness of acceptance.

And through it all I whisper internally, “I love you” ” I love you”. At the foundation of everything is always the Love. The knowing and remembrance that THIS is who we are, dancing in these masks and these body suits for moments, we are infinite and already perfect. Already born.

Still I cry for all Beings. That we may wake to the knowing of our true nature. To our absolute magnificence as creations of Love and as Divine Masters, adopting the mantle of the ever so human experience for a few breaths in time.

I cry for us all.

So that in the depths of this ocean I will gasp for the air of Truth ever more passionately. Ever more compassionately. And we will swim hand in hand to the vast open-ness of the surface.

One of the richest invitations of waking up while on this planet is learning how to be with those who walk in different worlds. How to be a bridge of love and light; to keep doors open whilst remaining deeply authentic to our truth and to live in full integrity. No “one” is better, worse or even separate – just expressions of different places in the Cosmic journey of evolution. It is a delicate and challenging skill and can come with a lot of heartache as we may have to walk away from many loved ones who choose the world they believe to be true.

This is just one level of the sadness. A sadness so soft and deep it fills the atmosphere and calls to my cells. This past week many of us have felt the strength of what is being released and transmuted in collective consciousness, supplemented by the force and effects of solar activity. Many of us have felt knocked out as our nervous systems adjust to the alchemy.

In my own being I am finding the next level of service in how my body and energy can transmute denser vibrations more organically – as innately as the flow of breath. And part of the expansiveness of that is refining the skill of staying unengaged in any story. I could choose any of a number to attach to; to ascribe either sadness or joy to. But that is not truth.

Essence just IS. Love just IS. Pain just IS.

So this deep sense of heart crushing sadness feels simultaneously like the contraction required to stimulate a greater burst into life, with renewed strength and power as the heart rebounds with more vitality, more capacity for all this Life IS. More blood can flow. More aliveness. And more rawness.

And I bow in gratitude – to the One before me whose personality chooses to stay in contracted ego, for He is the Divine and I love the essence before me; to my soul tribe who so courageously open to Love no matter what; who reach out and hold my hand and my heart in any moment: to my body for its tremendous capacity and courage to serve Life; to the Great Mystery, which is throwing up so much turmoil on our beloved planet right now so we can writhe and shake and stretch and grow into higher realities.

 

Helen serves the evolution of consciousness and anchoring of the Divine Feminine through many forms – one to one sessions globally; light transmissions; gatherings and events worldwide and humbly through writings and Presence. Please see more on her site , where you can sign up for very occasional mailings and do connect on facebook.

Cosmic Warriors of Light

cosmic-lovers

We walk together through the spaces between stars,

feet landing on fresh green shoots of grass and on scorched earth both.

Our hearts’ echoes are the drumbeat that we march to, calling us into formation,

laser sharp through the black space.

 

There is a vibration we know as intimately as an out breath

and in sensing it or hearing it in another form, our inner flame ignites.

robby-donaghey-becoming-love

Art : Robby Donaghey ~ Becoming Love

Together we burn brighter and more fiercely, devouring all that is not true

and cleansing tracts of land far and great.

 

Warriors of Light, I sing to you, come forward.

It matters not if you are

limping,

weary,

confused.

It matters not that there is no map or pathway clear.

 

It matters only that you hear,

and, in the hearing, step,

placing body and being in service

to the Greatest Calling of All.

 

Emptied as the clear flute, through which Spirit may play,

the melody grows and dances through the skies,

whispering at more ears,

more hearts,

more souls.

“Come home.”

“Remember we are One.”

 

Whether head bowed over newborn babe,

ploughing fields,

constructing bricks and mortar

or walking barefoot on pilgrimage,

let the music dancing at your heart’s door enter and consume you.

 

We are called.

We are called.

Let us dance to the Divine melody of our Call.

 

For Alan.

 

Helen is in service to the evolution of consciousness and the anchoring of Divine frequencies. This occurs through direct personal healing sessions and consultations; gatherings, groups and retreats globally, light transmissions and writings. Please do connect on facebook or through her site where you can also sign up for very occasional mailings.

 

Loving and Fear

star-eyes

“What do I fear most in this life?” I ask my subconscious. The answer comes – it is the lie.

The lie that lays behind the half-truth, the closed eyes. The lie that closes doors rather than opening them.

What I fear most in this life is the lie that causes decay and rot. A fermenting of unspoken words. A half-light of awareness.

What I fear most is the dark that comes from this lie. I do not fear the pure dark; the blackness of night nor the void space that births stars. Rather I fear our turning away from it – light or dark. The veil we place over our eyes and ears when we turn from truth. The truth that is found in both the dark and the light as two expressions of the One.

I used to tremble at the weak spots in my psyche that whine for safety and sameness. I see now that I claim them, more and more with each day. And in my claiming I am loving them. Perhaps more true is that I may be afraid of my UNseeing of them. That is what gives me true discomfort. And yet I know that, the deeper and more unconditionally I love all places in self or “other”, all that has been hidden and shamed will gently reveal in Divine readiness. In truth I do not fear the asleep consciousness in us all. It is an essential foundation for our functioning.

What I fear most is the vastness of my light, the magnitude of Being. The astounding, incomprehensible power of Divine essence that can bring only the death of all that is false. But who is this “I” who feels the discomfort? It is but the small self. The social self, who clings to fragments of life rafts of identity.

There is a place that can show in my soul that worries that I will not have the courage when all is stripped away to stand bare, weeping, wounded and free from every label, every strip of identification. To stand in my infinite stature as the magnficent Being and ambassador of light that I am. And, as I remember, again and again, not to believe the story of the fear, I caress those places – whether in psyche or soul – with the softest balm of love, letting them be exactly as they are.

Will I hold this head clear, easy and strong? Or crumble to the earth in shame? Will I hold humility in my cells equally to the sovereignty and realization?

The “I” that is, was and always shall be knows no fear. For “I” am love. Of love. Inseparable, vast and impenetrable.

Fear is also the birthing of Universes from the belly of Source and Her curiosity to see life expand and evolve through the contrast of duality. It is the necessary mirror to the brilliance of Divine love. There can only be fear prevailing where we turn away from our own darkness. As lovingness fills our very DNA, deeper and deeper, the ocean holds and bathes every expression and shade of our Beingness. The deeper we are called, the free-er we can rise.

There is only fear where Love is not. Love can go to any place – if it is invited. Like the angels! But first there must be a call – spoken or unspoken. A deep – soul–deep – invitation that no matter what, above all, is love. A willingness to meet the fire and the heart-shattering tenderness both. To receive it into our deepest recesses, squirming at the alchemy with our pains. And to offer our human forms as vehicles and containers for infinite love.

blue-blast

What is it I fear most in this life, for nothing can kill me, I am eternal? Life is eternal. I am born and never die. Only forms change. And through each form, a myriad and multitude of galaxies of experience; of touches and tears; agony and joys.

When I return home to love there is no fear. As I breathe it in, Universal, unending and as vast as I can conceive and taste, fear is cradled and comforted as a newborn baby. All softens in unlimited tenderness. The hard edges of anxiety or terror are met with the waves of the ocean which washes them clean. Fear and love take hands and dance, laughing at the pure joy of innocence and the Divine design. It is the ocean of limitless love that carries the wave of panic. Softens it, meeting it until it dissolves in a billion bubbles, indistinguishable from any droplet in the sea.

And so our prayers for the waters are also our embracing of fears. The most ancient, primal and rudimentary of fears. I CAN survive. I CAN Live – and walk upon this blue green planet in strength and peace and harmony with my brothers and sisters.

I see you fear. I look on you with unflinching loving. I see the shadows that lurk in you. The unspoken ones. The buried ones. And I vow not to deny you nor turn in shame. You are the messenger of the Divine calling me closer, deeper.

In understanding your true essence and staying present with your gifts, I am born. And yet not born, for I always was. Always existing. Ever present as Love and Truth.

 

Helen Quail serves love through any many vehicles – direct consultations and healing sessions, in person or via Skype; gatherings, events and retreats globally; light transmissions and writing. You are so welcome to connect and find out more about her offerings via facebook or her site, where you can also sign up for very occasional mailings.