Tag Archives: masculine

Embracing He and She as One

We are familiar with them but often blinded or, even more so, numbed, by the familiarity and pervasive social support for these constructs of control. The patriarchal patterns, anchored in money and power via the material realm and so woven into the structures of society have been used over the “feminine” and culturally embedded for many, many lifetimes as a tool of control and separation. The good news is that they are so “up” for being held and met, in and as full awareness in these times of times. The external struggles simply reflect the inner fragmentation. My system feels the toxicity of this whole illusion in the belly, heart and throat as it comes closer and deeper into the home of Love.

Shadow not brought to the light of consciousness activates and perpetuates more shadow. The feminine shadow includes ungrounded emotionality and manipulation of feeling and sexuality. Here, she can falsely seek her own control and expression and he retreats, feeling unsafe. Or, very often, she is silenced in the weight of his wielding this abuse of power. Her voice is yet again attempted to be removed. She is denied.

In this disconnect, He is in vast pain from the fragmentation from his own Presence into life with all its challenges. Empty of purpose, he grasps to external forms to fill the void. Inwardly there is the ache of longing for what she holds as the dance with creation. She feels the rage and despair of countless lifetimes of being silenced and suppressed and the bottomless grief of “him” not being there for “her”. She is cut off from He. Voice is not founded in Presence. Presence has no fully embodied form to move and create and express. There is no ground of Being for life to fully dance.

The true masculine is pure endless awareness, with its’ essential nature as peace, stillness, joy. The true feminine is love, creation, movement, shakti, sexuality. Both are within – within every one of us – male or female in form. The balance and the integration in each being vary tremendously. Yet, form and formless are constantly seeking the “other”; the merging back into wholeness that was never lost, just veiled by the belief in who we thought we are; fed by the blood of endless wounds and drowned out by the whirling of the over-stimulated mind.

What deep, deep energies these patterns carry in our collective and how the heart swells in compassion for each of us when we get caught in this “hell”. To the extent that we identify with these plays, we suffer so deeply. When we fall into seeking control – in any way – and certainly through external, unreal constructs of money and ownership, we have lost touch with our Self. We are anchored wholly in the false “I” that is separate. She cannot open and be met. He cannot access the limitless dancing of the Cosmos through Her.

The fragmentation between these expressions of One within every being – whatever gender – is our fundamental disconnect from true nature. The apparent hell of the separate worlds of victim and oppressor; of the abandoned child; of the alone heart – all can be recognized in the ocean of That which is. The integration calls for nothing other than the meeting with full Presence to every movement of creation and form; feeling, thought, body, circumstance. Every play through form is drenched in limitless awareness. There is no separation.

Helen works individually with people from around the planet, as a guide, healer, teacher – facilitating inquiry and embodiment into our true, multi dimensional unlimited nature. Book here or sign up for occasional updates on events, groups, online programmes and her writings. Feel welcome to connect on Facebook.


On Trust

bodiesA wise and extraordinary  teacher of mine often says “trust no-one, not even yourself.” When I first heard this I was surprised – coming from such an evolved and heart based being. The wisdom and depth of this teaching goes on….” trust what you can KNOW – the earth beneath your feet, the stars in the sky, the sun, the moon.”

My path at this time very much calls me in to places of woundedness that have – even with decades of dedication to personal growth –  been largely concealed in shadow my entire life. These places especially concern the masculine expression and aspect of me/Source and nurturing a healthy balance between my feminine and masculine. I have been embracing this exploration for many months, committing to it deeply for a number of those, yet only now I find myself truly stepping in to the mouth of the cave.

(It is endlessly surprising and humbling to observe oneself called again and again to the same cycles that have been worked with for decades only to reveal whole “new” layers as one progresses on the path. And of course illuminates the foolishness and absolute arrogance of ever thinking we are remotely “done” on a particular topic. No matter how much inner work we have done, we must prepared to be humbled in any second by what is unleashed and revealed by the ruthless Grace of Life.)

And a big piece in this shadow work relates to trust. The countless ways that trust has been decimated as spirit in the form of a female incarnated on this planet. Commonly by the masculine. In working on freeing myself from generations of control and manipulation, fully standing in liberation and sovereignty, the circles expand through not only my ancestral line but all beings. Personally and collectively. I – and many of us – especially females – feel and carry it all, precisely so that it can be healed and transmuted. And we are each called to find balance in union within, healing , owning all that we are – whatever gender – in Sacred equanimity. And the call to trust is in our ultimate connection with Source, the One.

I believe we have moved way beyond the days of “blaming” and judging either men or women for our roles in this dance. Yet there is still the invitation for deep forgiveness and healing. For an expansion of love that can hold and transmute all – within and as expressed through “other”.

In my role as a transmitter for particular frequencies of the Divine feminine, this service can only be truly fulfilled through bringing these energies fully into and through form and in healing not only the wounded feminine carried and expressing through this form but also – essentially – the wounded masculine.

So that both parts can see, honour and embrace each other in wholeness.

So the play in this particular life in recent months has been for Life to bring forth several men for intense, intimate relationship – under the “mantle” of Sacred union. And they have served greatly to direct me to the shadow places calling for my love and awareness. In the role of the “Divine awake masculine”– consciously or unconsciously bringing forth the woundedness, the distortions, the shadows, the manipulation – BECAUSE – they are but a mirror to those places asking for attnetion and more than anything unconditional love within me and my relationship with the Divine masculine, with “God” , as well as masculine in form.

And they are also manifestations of an outplacing of my desire to meet the wholeness of the Divine masculine in me/other. No matter the seeming evidence of consciousness and awakening work, where I see a significant gap  between what is projected and the reality of where consciousness and ego are, then I must dig deeper. This is also of course centrally where I study closely where this may be relevant to my own self and  focus carefully in discerning what serves my growth.*

So whilst my aching hurt and grieving personality at least briefly wanted to cry – “Again!! He has let me down again. The masculine cannot be trusted” – I  come to a place of gratitude pretty immediately at the perfection. There are many rich teachings and important ones on naiveté and trust. On the sophistication and intelligence of the darkness. On the complexity of shadow and woundedness. On listening more astutely to the promptings of the intuition. And – essentially – having the courage to let go of what is not real nor in alignment….and….trust in that letting go again and again to the unknown- of what may have seemed to hold promise.

Everything that shows up in my life asks for my careful attention. Everything is a mirror of both Divinity and ego. So I take all the gifts and challenges of these connections into the container of my inner reflection and awareness for contemplation and digestion. At the same time, applying careful discretion as to what aspects of mirroring I take as clear and resonant.

The invitation is also to delve deeper into those places  within me that have been too painful to even hold in the light – until now. And to nurture my own healthy masculine that can hold all – shadow and light – in the utter strength of unconditional love and presence. These souls are mirrors and teachers, as is every soul we encounter. This is about conscousness and peeling off yet further layers of illusion. Each shift in clarity and truth that any one of us creates, ripples through all consciousness.

Each experience with wounding, projection and a lack of authenticity I have encountered in my closest relationships has been a hugely powerful catalyst to awareness and growth. A great illuminator of the shadows and unconscious projections I still carry. And a vital invitation to honour my truth and authenticity and not give away my power to others’ expectation, however alluring. A relentless re-focusing on who I truly am and releasing roles, control and qualities imposed on me – and assumed by me (in many incarnations). And a catalyst to further jump-start and liberate even more my infinite heart and passionate body, the Sacred fires within me. The Love that I am is so beyond “personal”, so limitless. It has its home within me and this One calls to be absolutely embraced in this Love at the foundation of every movement, expression and relating.

So as the lessons show up, I learned more quickly this time and with less pain. I did not feel safe and my growing edge was to learn to keep myself safe(r). I did not feel respected, heard, held or revered. I did not felt fully met. Trust – in the human form – proved to be misplaced….So my invitation is to stand in those roles with love, compassion and dignity – no matter what – with all parts of me that show up. And to find the only place I CAN truly trust – God/Spirit.

And that means being – apparently – “alone” again. Alone with the Beloved and how the Beloved shows up in every single soul I encounter. How the Beloved expresses in my Being. With mySelf to go deep into the essential work that I am called to. Not pretty, not glamorous but oh so essential. Even with twenty years of self- development and exploration, these are whole other and vital layers in embodiment, growth and service.

Each soul has a journey in meeting, healing and embodying the Divine feminine and the masculine aspects within in order to come to wholeness. I know so many conscious women who are deeply frustrated at the apparent absence of equivalently  conscious and devoted-to-the-Divine men – open in their heart yet strong and balanced in their masculine self. We long to be met, heard, and held – as equals at all levels.  I don’t doubt this same seed of longing exists in the essence of many men also. The more each one of us – male or female – can love ourselves into wholeness, we literally (co)create new paradigms for this Sacred Union to be mirrored in the form of “other”.

For this one – as for many of us – at this time, my teaching – again – is to relax……to trust more completely what Life has in store; to take any longing inside – to my true and ultimate Sacred Union with the Divine. To nurture all of these qualities within and through me in that connection. And if it is in indeed – as it seems – Spirit’s plan for this wholeness and Sacred Union to embody truly in the physical then I am deeply grateful when that ultimately does show up in Truth.


When in hurt we have the choice to constrict, to be bitter and armoured or to embrace the learning with deep humility and grace and keep our heart wide open. I have made both choices in the past but now there can only be one choice. For the path of dedication to Spirit demands all, everything. Demands our wide open, cracked, bruised, blood spattered heart lain on the altar. Again…And again…

For now, the invitation is to trust That which is. Not any individual. Not any man. Nor woman.  And most certainly not my own mind. To trust more completely, utterly in the Divine. And thus see and experience each one of us as Spirit in form doing our best to navigate the challenges of duality, human needs and our projections.

It was demonstrated to me again very dramatically recently in a supremely intense incident – triggered by a bizarre set of circumstances, precisely choreographed by Spirit – that I cannot trust anything my mind offers (unless received fully and absolutely in and through heart and belly) – anything!  I can trust my heart and my body. But I know how quickly and subtly the human mind can intervene and distort anything. I experienced the hellish agony of what the mind can throw up. I touched into the depths of fear and pain that have been locked within. I could not trust anything my mind generated. I could not trust the person I was with. I could not escape the situation.  I could only turn everything to God, breathing moment to moment for what literally felt like my life and a tenuous grasp on sanity. It was an unequivocably powerful teaching that could only have been lived through my vulnerable and embodied experience. And calling in all parts of me to hold my self through it.

I watch very carefully for pride and ego showing up as obstacles to transformation. I have watched the dissolution of my most intimate relationships in this past year as a result of the projections of ego – both my own and theirs. My deep calling this year is liberation. From the illusions of ego, from ancient echoes of suffering. Liberation into Love and trust in Life beyond anything before. In knowing that the Divine is the true home of trust, that does not bring cynicism nor disillusionment but rather liberation from hurt and disappointment through misplaced trust and projection. And freedom to receive every one of us in deeper compassion in our human-ness – especially myself.

So I take my grief, my aches, any sense of betrayal and disappointment, my aloneness, my passion, my joy and aliveness to the Divine.

To the Beloved who is me/you/everything. Holding all places in Love.

I take my vast love.

My light. My shadow.

My longing and desire.

My surrender. My not knowing,

All that I am.

I give All to God.

This I can trust.

*I am aware that some of my sharings are deeply personal. I can only write what I am guided to and what comes from and through my heart. They are but my reflections of pieces of my dance, offered unconditionally as perceived and felt in this now, with humility, gratitude, respect and love for each soul playing any part. We are all actors in this earth school, serving Love. With this, it is my hope and intention that in sharing, the words and the energy in them may touch, awaken and inspire in even the smallest ways.

Helen serves consciousness and love through global events, international gatherings,  one to one consultations and writings. Please get in touch through her site or facebook.


An understanding

male surrender

I understand the old ways Beloved

For the men to be strong and sure.

I understand the old ways

when there felt a security in the knowing.


I understand you carry us with your strength and your valour.

I understand all that you’ve given.


But now there is an echo moving through the trees,

a calling between the birds.

There is a brightening in the stars

that says “Its time”.


Fall to your knees Beloved One

Let your forehead sweep the moist earth.

Come to Her.


For the only knowing that is true is this –

the kiss of the forest on your skin

the icy caress of the winds

the pounding within your chest.


Let go Beloved

for all is unknown.

You carry me still higher

in your surrender to Love


Here lies the true courage

and the rich soil

for us to fly as One


Turn to face

eye to eye

palm to palm

the pulsing of our One Heart

between us.


I understand Beloved.

It is safe to let go.

It is time.


Helen Quail 21/1/15

Connect with Helen on her website or facebook.


Ready to be undressed


I am ready to be undressed

by the hand of the Beloved,

by the softest touch that pauses in certainty

before the gift of caressing my skin


He must wait

and breathe

and know

the honour of this infinite moment.


An offering to the Beloved

for which there is no end.


I am ready to be undressed

before the Beloved.



To drop once again to my knees

nowhere to hide,

no nakedness to cover,

no scars to be ashamed of.


Only recognition that has always been.

Souls merging in body.


In coming to the Love that we are

the beauty of this human form so exquisite.

will only be shared with He who can see

That which he is.


With he who can gaze upon my nakedness

fully in his own,

feeling our Divinity

coursing through these veins

and muscles

and blood

knowing the Beloved.


I am ready to be undressed

by the hand of the Beloved,

to surrender to the strength of his tenderness,

to swim in the sea of aliveness in form,

where  breath moves in unison



into the heart of the belly,

no turning away.


An intake of breath

at the wonder

the Love

the vastness of Being

that opens before us and through us

in the timeless pause.

I am ready to be undressed,

to come together as One

in One

as has always been.


I am undressed

as Beloved.

perfect lover


Helen Quail 15.1.15

Connect with Helen on facebook or her website

Brothers – an invitation

This is one is for you – the men, the “boys”, the males. Yes, you.

All this talk of Awakening, healing and restoring the Divine Feminine and this is precisely why YOU are who I wish to hear these words.Because this is about You. I. All.

We are – many of us – becoming familiar with the understanding that we are on a ride to heal and integrate the masculine and feminine aspects within. The extremes of suppression and abuse that have manifested externally on Earth have simply been mirrors to internal imbalance. This is the time of the Goddess. No question. But it is Her in all her infinite Divinity in full and equal partnership with the masculine expression. She requires to be illuminated because she has (attempted to have) been hidden and silenced but Her voice sings alongside His.

Mother and Father. Shakti and Shiva. Magdalena and Yeshua.

As we heal the primal male and female archetypes, we explore intimate relationships as a massively rich resource for coming to know Self. A greater wholeness is embodied as Divine masculine and feminine aspects are fully seen and embodied. The only relationship is ultimately with Self. All are mirrors – holograms (as we ourself are) to expand consciousness. To return to Love. We have an ever expanding relationship with ourself through Being Love.

Some of us on the path of evolution have found that we have connected to our twin soul physically or etherically – as I did – and ultimately merged into Oneness. And yet, even with this wholing and healing, whether through the container of sacred relationship in the physical or rigorous inner exploration, as humans we still seek intimacy and companionship with other souls of course. So we can engage in the dance of relationship from a place of our own wholeness, freed from illusion about what “other” will bring.

homeSt Germain, through Meline Lafont says:

When being in a state of knowing that in fact all is already within you and that your companion is another expression of you on various levels, you can share, create and have wondrous moments in resonance where much creation, inspiration and Love will flow from that relationship as to where respect and freedom is pivotal. It is lingering in a sense and an awareness of the power of co-creation when you unite as one Source and bundle your energies. When all is vibrating in Love from the heart, anything is truly possible and this type of relationship is what marks the new world of being and living.

In this Golden Age, the potential being birthed is infinite. Divine co-creation. Today I send out an invitation to all men.

So many sisters are blooming, reclaiming their infinite Divine power and ancient wisdom. None of us can become whole without the healing of “other”. For you are I. I am you. Male. Female. And healing, wholing and balancing of all aspects of the Divine expression in human form is the invitation we are called to at this blessed time on earth.  Just as She is finding her expression again, human consciousness cannot evolve without the freeing of males from the illusion of false power, the devaluing of the truth of the heart; distorted sexuality and sexual expression;  the soul-less prison of material provision and consumption….

On my path and my service, I am so blessed to meet and connect with stunning goddesses across the worlds; wise women; medicine women; angels; siStars….And amongst the community of light, I am now too connecting with the most exquisite Divine males – awakened to their heart, committed to Life unflinchingly. By my side utterly. Growing up in central Scotland, with three brothers, this has been a revelation. My breath is taken away by what is mirrored as the possibilities for us all in wholeness. And these outstanding mirrors have taken me deeper into seeing of Self. Digging out further shadows of my insecurities and projections, allowing these to be held steadily in simple Presence.  Holding space for release of ancient griefs and wounds carried in every womb. And all returns to Love.

But these have been so very few. A precious trickle. A tantalising display of what is possible.

Women are in many ways leading the forefront of the Awakening now flowing unstoppably through humanity. But you are needed beloved.  Your voice. Your Presence. Your vulnerability. Your strength. All of you to show up for the ride. Heart and mind. Body and soul. Trembling and uncertain. But showing up.

And I know you are there. I know you are here with us. Perhaps just trying to find your way out, forward, through, just as I am. I feel you….We do this together.

You have some awesome wayshowers – Jeff Brown, Arjuna Ardagh and Jeff Foster for example – who wholeheartedly embrace the richness of the spirituality of now; not entrenched in rigid patriarchal doctrines but embodying the loving soft strength of Divine Father; the intuitive richness of the path of the heart,  the communion of sacred sexuality Sacred mind and sacred heart, fully embodied through the belly of Life.honour

But you are needed. Yes, you. You would not have been gifted this incarnation at this time if you didn’t possess the seed of Divine wholeness. Let it be watered by Goddess and root in the Earth. Life is calling. Will you answer? This is the time Brothers. Will you join us?

Helen serves to anchor and expand the Divine Feminine through the Way of the Heart and Light. she facilitates consultations, gatherings and global transmissions. connect on facebook or through her website.