Tag Archives: mother

Love’s call


Let no one tell you who you are.
Let every wind, tree and bird show your deepest, vastest nature
beneath all the layers of skin,
hardened over years of pulling away from the inexorable vortex within;
the mirage of mirrors of clothing
and hats
and too-quick words
that lean us away from Love’s freefall,
into echoing despair.

Where is the pulse of your belly?
The ocean of your chest?
the Cosmos of your Sacred heart?
Oh let us free it all into wildness, together.

Let go into the infinite that has no definition,

only the tears of your cracking chest
the breath of your soul
that will pulse forever
like a beacon,
and a torch
calling always to truth.


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Mother of all



Divine Mother,

Mother of all form

Blessed be your expression through every mother on this planet. Every human being in form has been birthed from a mother, whether we have never known their form or however our relationship has unfolded.

May the infinite bonds of loving nurturing be healed and strengthened in the heart and cells of every Being. May both mother and father come in to wholeness in loving nurturing protection.

I offer infinite gratitude to my mother in this life, I honour your strength, sacrifices, love and kindness;
to each of my five children who are my greatest, fiercest teachers; to the biological mother of my Ethiopian daughter – I bow to you and thank you for the honour of being guardian of this soul ~ our Hearts are One;
to the mother who helped caretake my oldest daughter since she was six years old, an angel who chose to serve by taking a form that requires lifelong care;
to my grandmothers and their grandmothers, the generations upon generations of wisdom keepers, I bow.

I am feeling all the Sisters who inspire me; whom I love; who change the world and beyond; whom I have held close and those I have never met in the flesh but who reside deep in my heart. Whether you see these words or not, we feel each other.
I think of all the women whose daily lives are a struggle in grinding poverty, feeding and caring for children, holding families and communities together under the most testing of circumstances. I feel the young warrioresses roaring against the machine, eyes unwavering from truth. I feel the grandmothers steeped in wisdom sitting on the earth listening and singing their prayers. I feel the mountains and stars and oceans dancing with us.
Mothers, daughters, sisters, lovers. Goddesses, maidens, crones. We all chose to be part of this spectacular exploration here on planet earth.
To all the brave, beautiful, fierce and tender women that hold and create Life – in our wombs, through our hands and our hearts, I bow to you. We are interwoven across and through everything.
Love everyone, anyway, as much as possible. Love wholly, completely and fearlessly, in the sweet short precious moments we are privileged to share with one another. 
This is what Life is, what permeates everything, whether we believe we are alone or have beloveds we can pull close and caress. This is the fire and air that fills us.
Be bold and tender; fierce and utterly vulnerable; be You; shakti soaked, earth shaking; deep, dark and blinding light; unafraid of our vastness. Celebrating Her presence in us all.

Creating new paradigms around mothering is at the heart of my soul’s mission. As this touches every being on this planet, it is a path that demands all and that brings forth the most ancient patterns.

Each day – not just “Mother’s Day”, may we pause in our breath, in our hearts, inviting the full expression of the Divine Feminine to move through our beings and into Gaia, her grids of light and beyond. May She do so in balance and union with the all encompassing Loving Presence of Divine Father.

And so it is.
And so it shall be.


Helen offers herself in service to Life through one to one meetings, group gatherings, global events and activations. Connect at facebook or her site.

Mother of Mine


Mother of Mine

Mother of all

You’ve tended us so carefully

So we don’t fall.

Caught us and loved us

and held us so tight

When the fears and the darkness loom in the night.


Mother of mine

both human and Divine,

always so humble, giving and kind,

You gave so many years to us all.

So many hours,

so many tears

were wiped away by the hand that knows only Love.


Mother of mine,

I am so grateful you are here

and even in death you chose well and clear.

So we have these moments, these hours, these days

to thank you and love you for teaching your ways.


Ways based on faith in the guiding Love of the Divine

on serving and giving with no thought of self.

Your strength, majestic as a mountain,

your grace like a billowing leaf

you inspire each of us

to reach for the Truth


Mother of Mine,

Beloved Divine

in your human-ness you are loved and cared for

till your last breath becomes one

with the great Cosmic breath.

A pulse that never ends

and will reverberate through my blood for ever.


Mother of Mine.



Dedicated to my mother, Mary on her 77th birthday today.


Helen serves consciousness as called. The forms include energy healing, Presence, transmissions, gatherings and writings. She is honoured to connect through facebook or her site, where you can also sign up for very occasional mailings on her schedule and offerings.

Awakened Mother

Magdalena - source George Yepes

Art – Georges Yepes

The sacred sexuality inherent in the Mother Goddess archetype is one of the most potent aspects of femininity being reawakened – or more accurately – reclaimed in this time. She – as mother –love- nurturer has been separated from the potency of the rich alchemical fire of eroticism for many, many generations. The patriarchal forces knew that this separation was a most effective way to “castrate” her; to neutralise the infinite fires pouring through Her in form.

As women today, we have the opportunity in safety and in Sacred circle and in the sanctuary of our own body space to reclaim our vehicles – every aspect of our physicality and sexuality. To touch every membrane, every cell and is doing so as a touch of pure unconditional love, to free the memories, thought patterns, wounds and sheer illumination contained in each.

Every being in human form came through a mother. Whether we have no conscious memory or experience of her, whatever our relationship has been or has not been she is the archetypal birther and destroyer; the nurturer and the Goddess. She holds us in our pain, rocks us tenderly, offers her mother’s milk.

And at her core, from her belly, is the incandescent, shimmering, fiery power of pure Shakti. The creative force, that which fertilises all into form. So many myths have been forged – of harlot- whore or ice maiden. So many distortions of the feminine cut off from the sexual- spiritual energy that literally is her beating heart, her pulsing rhythm.

Now sister, we call US home. All parts. No longer in any form of separation, of competition or judgement – all false structures designed to further separate and disempower the feminine.

Can we hold the sagging skin like an adoring lover?

Can we caress the mounds of flesh on our belly?

Tenderly kiss the scars on our hands that have tended so many? The wrinkles on our brow that mirror our never ending care?

Can we open our womb space to the purification of the fire? And dance as all burns?

Naked and as carefree as the young girl we once were;

as sensuously deliciously alive as the vibrant women we grew into;

embodying the wisdom of all grandmothers.

Beloved mothers, daughters, sisters, on this day I kneel on our Mother. I place my head on our flesh, her soil breathing gratitude with every breath. I honour Her. I honour you Beloved Sisters.

I honour you  Beloved Brothers. The endless sky that holds our earthly mother. I thank you for the gifts of this call home. Our returning, our purification, our fearless reclaiming of all of ourselves as Love. And we hold our hands to you, our partners on this dance, inviting you into the fire. All returning in to balance through the surrender to the fire.

Kaya ashee  aya mai te’y.

S’y koya tara ne ka

Meya ashee kara ne’y te’y

Se’y as a koh

Helen supports the expansion of light and anchoring of Divine Feminine frequencies in many ways including international gatherings, online events and light transmissions, one to one consultations and writing.  Connect with Helen through her site or facebook and sign up for an occasional  newsletter.



Die into birth

Xombie Xree


Time to fall in love

with Her

the Mother of All


The Void space

that is not head

that is not heart

that pulses both through her birth canal

in a frenzy of Love


Relentless, edgeless,

blood dripping




She asks for my tender forearm

the curve of my neck

the soft swell of my belly

the most, pungent places


That I have shown no-one.


She demands it all.

She devours it all.


She – I – replete in total disintegration

void and satied,

the birth canal is the total and complete yes,

the full owning of every pulse, turn, word


I die to Her.

I die into birth.



Helen serves in our remembering of truth through love in one to one work, transmissions,  and gatherings globally. Connect with Helen through her site or facebook.

The Dark Mother calls


Federica Poleti - Holy Ghost“To be Truly Born as the Dark Mother requires us to enter into the depths of our being as pure Love (beyond identification).

As we Truly Enter and Penetrate ourselves to the bottom, we meet the very ground of pain, which rests at the core of our Being – first as human, but in the dissolve of the body-identification ultimately as consciousness itself…..

It is the True End of Wanting, as we Fall in Love with the Dark Mother and come to truly rest our human bodies on the face of this Earth in the alignment between our recognition as Source itself – as God having penetrated Earth to come to Truly Rest as Him in Her” edited excerpt – Aisha Salem

As the last leaves soak into the soil of late autumn, Kali is calling, the Dark Mother, the Dark destroyer. A love that shies from nothing. No shadow. No shame.

A point from which there is no turning away. No place to hide.

There is only Her embrace where death and rebirth beckon.

I say “yes”.

A deeper Love of fierce and relentless passion. A fire that holds all colours, oceans of tears, the howls to the moon,  the wild dances, the light more brilliant than any galaxy. The places that have never been opened, deep, deep in the shadows.

This one gives all to Her.

To nourish my deepening and inner journey, I am not intending to offer public gatherings through winter 2015/16. I will still be available for one to one work globally via skype.

Contact Helen via her site.

slow it down

The Wheel Turns

Mother - Gustav KlintThis blog is one of the most “personal” I have shared and many may wonder why I do so. The answer – as always – is that I share the words when they need to be shared. When the flow comes and when I know they have to be offered. It may be but one soul that can receive. No matter. What matters is the speaking of my truth, from the heart. This is at the core of my serving in this lifetime.

Several years ago, on getting to know a new/old friend and her discovering that I have five children, she commented, “Wow, you must really LOVE being a mother!” This remark struck something core at that moment and has echoed with me these years in its inadvertent wisdom and invitation to explore layers of my Being and experiences.

Many who know me reflect on my natural ease and grace in mothering. I do love being a mother. My children have taught me more about love than anything else on this planet. But this has not been the motivating force behind my mothering. That force, I see with greater and greater clarity is Source itself, of course.

In truth, no – this is not an innate, organic urge to reproduce and care-take that has always been with me. I had no desire to have children – quite the opposite!  I disconnected from any conscious impulse to be a mother. This was an absorption of my parents conditioning and experiences rather than my own clear response.

At seventeen, as a University student emerging from a very turbulent last few teenage years, I found myself pregnant, “unplanned”. Now I can see the perfection of this – as everything in this life. A deep unconscious desire to be loved and needed was met in a daughter who would require lifelong and constant care. An angel – with “Angelman Syndrome” who would show me what Love really is. And be my first and greatest teacher in the power and beauty of letting go – in and as love.

The details will come another time but in letting her go, my resulting swallowing of grief, guilt and pain and my denial of Self as Mother led me ultimately into the total breakdown of my health. By the time I was in a wheelchair and had job, home, relationships and much else stripped away, I was finally waking to another way of Being.

Part of that healing was returning to reclaim Mother in me. This took long years, chronic illness, even a journey through the legal system until I literally placed myself before the highest court of my country, and owned the truth  that I was indeed a mother and a good mother. And through this healing of myself as Mother, came the very conscious conception and incarnation of my Beloved son, some seventeen years after my daughter.

Divine Mother

What has occurred throughout the time since  has been  a periodic calling ,  a specific powerful awakening of this impulse to bring forth life, to mother, in order to consciously facilitate each of five very special and powerful souls to find their way into this world. In the case of my adopted daughter – very especially to place her in the circumstances she needed to be to fulfill her mighty soul’s mission. Each calling has met various degree of internal resistance for a brief period until coming into alignment and embracing. Other than the way in which the sacred adoption of my daughter came forth, which was so massively forceful there truly was no space for any resistance or hesitation!

So I know so deeply that each of “my” children” is truly a gift from the Divine. A message, a blessing, a service, a gift beyond riches. The love I have for my children cannot be anything other than unlimited, unconditional and vaster than any other. There have been innumerable moments of utter magic, joy, tenderness and a fulfillment that fill up my heart in unique and precious ways.

I could write many, many pages on the miracle that they are and the gifts that mothering offers. I would give my life in a heartbeat for any one of my children. And I believe they know so.


What has been germinating for actually my entire life – I just wasn’t conscious of it – is the knowing that my service involves Being Mother, in a way that both holds and transcends the personal.

After caring for my first daughter for the first two and a half years of her life, I was completely ready and committed to devote my whole life to her care which would be constant. I considered no other choice. Then a gateway opened. A long and immensely painful journey ensued – which again is for my book rather than here – but in essence I learned that the true meaning of love is loving without attachment. Loving someone enough to set them free, let them go. We gave each other this gift, my daughter and I – of the purest unconditional love. She has never spoken a word for she speaks the truest language of the heart and is one of the most masterly teachers I have encountered.

Skipping ahead through the years of birthing and raising three sons and my adopted daughter, and my marriage coming to an end, there has been a more conscious knowing for a number of years that in order to fulfill what I came here for, I would again be required to let go. To entrust my children to Mother. To Life. To allow us all to be supported and cared for at the highest levels, so that love can continue but I can also serve as meant. And so it is. And now comes to pass.

After many, many months of tears, exploration, processing I require to be ready to be wrong, to make a mistake, I require to take the risk of stepping into the third stage of my life that is much more than selling the family home and leaving Scotland. At a practical level, my children are very fortunate as they have a beautiful father who loves them and can provide a stable family home for them. They too have a mother who loves them beyond what is possible to measure and will always, always be available in the ways that matter most. They know how to feel me and that separation is an illusion. They know they are so loved and welcomed with both their father and mother and there is always a place with either parent as and when this feels the right thing for them.

And this will support all of us in the face of collective judgement, much of it unspoken. Much of it projection of our own deepest fears and wounds around Mother and Father.

It is not that it is not entirely possible to integrate a high level of spiritual service with being entirely grounded in family life and there are mothers and fathers the world over doing just this. This has been my richest teaching ground on patience, love, truly embodying what I learn and really being present.

It is – very simply – the path set out for this soul. Whether it can ever be understood at levels other than heart or soul, or not. My conscious awakening began some twenty years ago. I am not meant to defer my call for another fifteen until my youngest is grown. The work is too important and it is needed now.

So we enter a different dance. One that will flow and change as each of these amazing beings grows through different life stages; as my path of service unfolds. But we will weave this dance together – a lifelong dance of love.

My children are not “my” children” but as Gibran says

“They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.”

They come through me but not from me.

To deny my Truth is to deny my soul. I have to answer to what I know, no matter how difficult this may appear. I cannot teach my children to deny their soul. I will not. And I feel them – their souls around me – as we honour the contract we made before birth, knowing deep within, however the human part may respond, that all is in Divine perfection.

I give All to Mother. All is held by Her. We walk as One .


Copyright Helen Quail   2.1.15

You can connect with Helen on her website or facebook