Tag Archives: sadness

Heart flow

surrender-in-flow

As I rest in heart-crushing sadness, it is the ancient sadness of witnessing – of FEELING – a fellow soul choose fear instead of love; limitation instead of infinity; illusion instead of truth. My heart truly breaks to feel the asleepness, the loss. It is akin to being behind a glass window trying to communicate to a prisoner. So very much that cannot be heard, understood or communicated.

I accept this Being as a form before me, no different to “I”, mirroring aspects of Source incarnate. I get it. So the sadness over “him” is sadness over all the places and lifetimes where my “I” chose to stay hidden in the false safety of the ego. Every where I can still do so. There is a particular poignancy as this is someone I have loved deeply, over many years. But if true love is about anything it is about letting be. Letting the Beloved be exactly who they are. No matter if our soul cries at what is possible but remains unopened. There is great beauty in the tenderness of acceptance.

And through it all I whisper internally, “I love you” ” I love you”. At the foundation of everything is always the Love. The knowing and remembrance that THIS is who we are, dancing in these masks and these body suits for moments, we are infinite and already perfect. Already born.

Still I cry for all Beings. That we may wake to the knowing of our true nature. To our absolute magnificence as creations of Love and as Divine Masters, adopting the mantle of the ever so human experience for a few breaths in time.

I cry for us all.

So that in the depths of this ocean I will gasp for the air of Truth ever more passionately. Ever more compassionately. And we will swim hand in hand to the vast open-ness of the surface.

One of the richest invitations of waking up while on this planet is learning how to be with those who walk in different worlds. How to be a bridge of love and light; to keep doors open whilst remaining deeply authentic to our truth and to live in full integrity. No “one” is better, worse or even separate – just expressions of different places in the Cosmic journey of evolution. It is a delicate and challenging skill and can come with a lot of heartache as we may have to walk away from many loved ones who choose the world they believe to be true.

This is just one level of the sadness. A sadness so soft and deep it fills the atmosphere and calls to my cells. This past week many of us have felt the strength of what is being released and transmuted in collective consciousness, supplemented by the force and effects of solar activity. Many of us have felt knocked out as our nervous systems adjust to the alchemy.

In my own being I am finding the next level of service in how my body and energy can transmute denser vibrations more organically – as innately as the flow of breath. And part of the expansiveness of that is refining the skill of staying unengaged in any story. I could choose any of a number to attach to; to ascribe either sadness or joy to. But that is not truth.

Essence just IS. Love just IS. Pain just IS.

So this deep sense of heart crushing sadness feels simultaneously like the contraction required to stimulate a greater burst into life, with renewed strength and power as the heart rebounds with more vitality, more capacity for all this Life IS. More blood can flow. More aliveness. And more rawness.

And I bow in gratitude – to the One before me whose personality chooses to stay in contracted ego, for He is the Divine and I love the essence before me; to my soul tribe who so courageously open to Love no matter what; who reach out and hold my hand and my heart in any moment: to my body for its tremendous capacity and courage to serve Life; to the Great Mystery, which is throwing up so much turmoil on our beloved planet right now so we can writhe and shake and stretch and grow into higher realities.

 

Helen serves the evolution of consciousness and anchoring of the Divine Feminine through many forms – one to one sessions globally; light transmissions; gatherings and events worldwide and humbly through writings and Presence. Please see more on her site , where you can sign up for very occasional mailings and do connect on facebook.

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Shadow Sisters

tidesI am wading through some deeply uncomfortable murky waters in my belly. They feel as ancient as the seas of Gaia herself. Waters that have been filled with the tears of generations of mothers, sisters, lovers, daughters.

My head wants to jump in an attempt to fence in these waters; barricade against the storms –  but they are bottomless and unknown. They contain the unseen wounds and the unheard screams. They contain the bleeding of millions of wombs and tears of many more eyes.

I can only lay face down in Her and add my tears and my exhale. I am you.

Let us not lay our wounds before each others feet in a desperate attempt to prove ours are greater; to compensate for all the lifetimes where they have not been held and honoured. Nor let us deny that which moves through every one of us.

birth

My human self may writhe and contract but the ocean in my belly just is.

The Immortal Magdalene is here to bring our full glorious sexuality into the core of our Beings and forms. Every place where this has been denied, suppressed or blatantly and viciously abused will float to the surface.

I feel the pains. I feel the beauty even in the agony. And I feel the infinite love that created all of it. In the deep sadness there is a tenderness of sisterhood that is exquisite and a perfection in the design that we may never touch.

We are one in our journey with this.

And as our beloved men come towards us ever more courageously, in our alchemy we birth anew the waters of life from our wombspace.

May these rich waters fertilize our compassion and forgiveness, growing forth first and foremost for our own cells, our own DNA. As I heal my own pain of abuse – in this lifetime and many, I heal that of my sister who feels unheard; I heal the silent screams of the young African girl being held down and raped; the Indian grandmother being viciously beaten; of the broken hearts of fathers and brothers and sons and lovers lost in the dark delusion of misusing sexual power.

May we all swim in these waters as light and darkness dance and realign, finding our way to Source in its eternal evolving.

May we love as fully as we are and can. May it be so.

 

Helen serves consciousness and the expansion and anchoring of Divine Feminine frequencies through various forms – individual consultations and healing sessions; facilitating groups globally; retreats and virtual transmissions. Please connect through facebook or her site where you can sign up for occasional mailings.