Life is a miracle. Full of surprises from moment to moment – when we drop down, stop trying to control, when we touch that eternal place that maybe we had lost or forgotten. When we open our eyes, wide, drop into quietness and open to that which we are born unto. Five years ago I first met a man – a beautiful, beautiful man – who has touched my soul and helped return me home, in ways I could never have imagined, nor yet describe. I was not looking; not searching. I had heard friends talk of him for a year or two. I was open, curious to find out for myself if there was anything there…
I knew immediately that this was something special and deeply powerful and felt the effects ripple through me and my life for months, but it was two years later when my whole perception experienced a massive and spontaneous expansion. I suddenly found myself with “a teacher”; never having considered that I was looking, nor “ready” for one. I also found myself travelling away from my family to other countries to experience the workshops with him, with no idea of what would unfold. I wept at beauty beyond anything I had conceived of. I experienced Divine Love flooding my bones. I was swept in the storm of remembering and never again wanting to forget, yet knowing I would. I am so profoundly grateful to experience a dance like no other.
The past years since those moments of seismic shift have brought gifts, transformation and miracles beyond anything I could have conceived. Life just expands and expands. As I dip my toe in, with more and more joy and freedom and curiosity, I feel the ocean, limitless, of which I am.
We are all on this blue planet, a small boat, hurtling through space. I look up at the stars, knowing my body belongs to this earth, but where did I come from? Where will I go when I leave this boat?
Whilst on this planet, I am here to express what is in my heart and soul and I do this best, it seems, through writing. It can feel overwhelming to attempt to express not only the deeply personal but the un-knowable, but it also feels important to offer something of my truth, as I can, in this moment. Ask me who I am and I can only say I am of Life. I am Life. Infinite. Un-knowable. Ask me what he is to me and all I can say is that I touch a tiny, tiny drop of who he is and what this experience brings forth and what I do not know is so much vaster. I glimpse his phenomenal understanding of how the mind works , and what the body is, and he is so deeply in his bones and blood that through him can flow a vastness that takes my breath away. And thus he shows me Life/the Universe – what is in me and of me.
All I can say I know is that he brings me home. For this my love and gratitude are soul-deep and eternal.
Emaho, you have helped this soul, my soul. That you can know.